Adventures Of Butter

If...

2010-07-02T14:21:00.002-04:00

This was written by an friend of mine from Facebook--> Paul Stevenson

I think it is excellently written...and I relate to it alot. I think it is worth sharing!

They say that God is infinite, and that Solomon was the wisest of all kings. Solomon said “the more knowledge; the more suffering.” If God is infinite, then God suffers infinitely. If God suffers infinitely, then existence may very well be God’s way to discover the source of his own suffering.
Humanity suffers due to knowledge, and knowledge comes from experience. So why then do we strive to learn? We call it human nature. We as humans harbor an insane lust for knowledge. Sometimes it can be a great boon, at other times it is nothing more than a devastating blow to our fragile psyches.
We experiment constantly. We tinker with everything from wood carving to the atomic structure. We have mapped the human genome and now we seek to manipulate it. We cannot settle for what we have here on Earth, so we reach for the stars. We are infinitely curious, therefore, infinitely cursed.
In my life I have experienced many things. I’ve felt the sorrow of years of abuse, the blissful oblivion of love, the immense joy of parenthood, the dregs of homelessness, and the highs of easy living. I have been an addict, a lover, a racist, a liar, and for a time, an honest man. I have seen the beautiful creation of life and then watched it disappear in the blink of an eye. You could say that I have experienced many things. I say that I have barely scratched the surface.
That’s just the way we as humans are. We revel in the suffering we bring upon ourselves, while denying that it is that suffering which keeps us going.
If God exists, and this is his plan; I can only thank him for the knowledge, and damn him for the pain.

What Is "Human"?

2010-06-30T00:54:00.001-04:00

I love having conversations online. Not too long ago someone asked, "Why are people so judgmental and hypocritical? Why can't they be more human?" This question is quite a paradox for me. I'm not trying to badmouth anyone or generalize, but the question itself is very general so I will keep that theme. We all know there are exceptions to every rule...but no person is perfect so maybe everyone will fit somehow into my explanation.

In my lifetime I have learned that people brush things off until it affects them. They will befriend you and then tell others bad things behind your back. They lie for attention, possessions, and control. They yes you and tell you what they think you want to hear. They insult, prod, give guilt trips, and pressure you to get you to do what they want. They shun, harass, and preach to those outside of their social group. They find differences and divide themselves for any reason. They are quick to get offended but also quick to offend. They like to be right and if their belief is strong they will explain away any contradiction to it. They can be opinionated, self righteous, and stubborn. They are fair for everyone else and biased toward themselves. Of course everyone does these things at a different level depending on how our personality developed. We treat others a certain way depending on the situation in which we connect. Whatever need we are craving determines our actions and emotions during this interaction. Are we looking for achievement, power, or intimacy? Since no person is perfect, chances are we all lack something and crave it either consciously or subconsciously. These things play a key role in how we interact, influence, and manipulate others. These are all common things that people do...basically what I'm saying is that being hypocritical and judgmental ARE human traits.

Return Of The Butter...

2010-06-29T23:20:00.000-04:00

It feels good to have the time to now keep up the blog once more. As some of you know I have been writing a memoir and to put memories into words can be quite challenging, not to mention emotional. Once the memories start to come, they trigger others and so on. I have been meditating alot and looking within myself. It helps me to feel grounded and helps me deal with stress. I love to meditate while going on a long walk in the woods. Sometimes just sitting on a bench or rock and looking out into the trees and the stream that goes through the park that I like to visit. You know once we get too busy in life, sometimes we forget about all of that which is around us.

So now I'm at the point when I need a distraction and that is the perfect excuse to get the blog updated and keep it that way. It will be the same stuff as always....my thoughts and ramblings and dreams and reviews of things....whatever tickles my fancy on a given day. There is always something going through my mind from day to day. I love to reinvent myself...and so I have also started working on getting my website back up as well as changed the theme on this blog. I had to choose this theme...looks like a steamroom heh. If you have any ideas for topics they are always welcome. Glad to be back!

She's Alive!

2010-06-02T17:43:00.001-04:00

So Butter is back and ready to let you have a peek at my brain everyday. Sorry it has been so long but with writing a book and being a mom, along with other life things sometimes can make it hard to have blog time! But now that MiniMe is out of school and I can get free time I am grateful to have the time to blog now. I will also be revamping the overall look of my blog so look forward to a few changes! I have 2 in the works now and they will be posted soon so get your goggles ready!

There Is Nothing Like A Mama-Hug...Terri Guillemets

2010-04-14T19:10:00.006-04:00

PLEASE HELP ME!

As some of you know I try to help out the local mission here in town when I can. I helped donate dinners for Thanksgiving over the holidays. They help alot of displaced families and abused women and mothers get back on their feet. They are short of toiletries for the women. These are basic necessities that the many of us wouldn't fathom being without. I will be collecting toiletries in honor of Mother's Day and dropping them to the shelter. Please help me give them these essentials they need that we take for granted.

I will be collecting--> Face Soap, Deodorant, Toothpaste, Toothbrushes, Lotions, Shampoo, & Conditioner ...I need them by 4/30/10...so if you are not near my local area we can talk privately about how to mail these items to me.

I will also be taking Money for me to go buy things. If you want to donate money I will show you how! There is a ChipIn widget above that is hooked to PayPal...or...the GreenDot MoneyPak is an easy way to send money. Go to http://greendotonline.com and find a store who sells MoneyPaks...(typically WalMart, Walgreens, CVS, 7-11, etc...go to the store, grab a MoneyPak, tell the cashier how much you want on it, and then give me the code on it or the receipt. Any questions let me know!

Be Back Soon!

2010-03-11T19:07:00.002-05:00

Sorry that I hadn't posted lately....I'm working on a book! I am condensing my memories and experiences into a novel. So I guess my blog has suffered some and it has been a little while. I am, however, working on a couple posts so hopefully those will be up soon. One is about the debating and interacting that I notice on Twitter. It looks like to me instead of sharing ideas, alot of people are more worried about winning debates or arguments. You can learn more by sharing I think. When people are concentrated on winning they are seldom open to anyone's views. Anyway...see you soon!

Through The Eyes Of Unseeing Eyes!

2009-11-16T23:10:00.013-05:00

Vincenzo Scipioni, better known on Twitter as UnseeingEyes, is definitely another reason to tune in. His tweets are informative as well as entertaining. They are a chef salad of music, videos, points in History, thoughts, quotes....you name it, he posts it. Check out his website for a smorgasbord of his writing. I don't totally remember if he followed me first or if I found him first...doesn't really matter I guess in the scheme of things. Nevertheless he is one to keep your eyes on....just make sure your mind is open.

Vincenzo Scipioni
Twitter Handle---> @UnseeingEyes
Website---> http://UnseeingEyes.com

What is your profession?

I am an author. I am a teacher. I am a painter.

What motivates you or excites you?

Depends on what we are talking about. In a general sense, people; my love, my genuine desire to make this world a better place and help those who want help; talk to those who are willing to listen. The simple things in life motivate and excite me. I look forward to a fresh peach, a hot plate of pasta, a kiss, a warm embrace.

Name 3 things you couldn't live without...

Paper, music, friends and loved ones.

What is one thing in which you are the absolute best?

Reader; I have the most voracious appetite. Kisser I would say is a close second. But I can say with certainty, there is not a person alive who has read and reads as much as I do. And I can instantly recall everything I’ve ever read.

Where is the best place you have been in the world?

I know what you mean, but first I’m going to answer how I want to: In the back seat of the car, on a cold winter day, with the heat blasting, my father talking to my Grandpa in the front seat, and me lovingly embraced in my Grandma’s arms. She wore an amazingly soft red coat, with a fur trim…and her hands were always warm, her voice always soothing. In between answering all my questions, she’d always used to sing softly, and eventually I’d fall asleep. When I awoke, I knew it was that time, and my father and I were dropping off my grandparents back at their home. My grandmother would always give me money; usually two $10’s or two $20 dollar bills; and she’d always say the same thing, “Grandma & Grandpa love you. This is just a little something for you, and a little something for your sister. Be good.” I cannot say enough about my Grandma, Grandpa, Papa, and Nana—each dying when I was still young, but each impacting who I am today tremendously. So the best place I’ve ever been in the world is really all of the time I spent with my grandparents growing up.

The best physical location; I’d have to say the entire country of Italy, specifically Rome; or the entire State of New York, specifically New York City and Orient Point. Those are tied for THE BEST.

How did you find Twitter?

In actuality, it is an amazing thing; Twitter, and this “new way” of communicating and sharing information is extremely powerful. Like minded individuals, professors and teachers, doctors, students, artists—in fact all people could be collaborating very real ideas and knowledge, creating real solutions and evoking change. But that isn’t happening.

In reality, it’s for the most part a horrible waste of time and utterly mindless. If it were not for the genuine friends I talk to and inspire me on a regular basis, I would no longer participate in it. This 140 character limit isn’t making people prune, refine, and really value the “words” and “language” they use; it’s making people quick and lazy. I’ve said it before many times on Twitter in fact, “Text messaging, e-mail, Tweets—are ALL simplifying our language. When you simplify language, you simplify thought.”

To say one last thing about Twitter, it could be much better than it exists today; and this could be achieved by doing relatively little. It could be used to “really connect” people and evoke change. It has become and will only further resemble in the future, “more of the same.” That is, unless “WE THE PEOPLE,” those who use Twitter, begin actively doing something about it.

What was your objective in joining Twitter?

To help people. To inspire people. To make people feel good about themselves. To learn. To share. To grow. To teach. To listen. To be a part of a collective consciousness. To make Twitter better, enriching its overall content and direction.

If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

Only one—that sucks, I want to bring back a whole bunch. Why can’t we have a banquet? The answer probably depends on what type of mood I’m in. Right now I’m going to have to say Leonardo da Vinci; and I want to get him for at least a few hours. When I turn 30, perhaps I’ll say a weekend with Mick Jagger or Elvis hitting New York City hard.

If you could meet someone from Twitter, who would it be?

Once again I would say that depends on my mood. Right now I’m going to say I’d like to meet one of my favorite LADY followers. It would certainly be a “regular” person in a discrete location for a relaxing evening.

When you think about your childhood, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Writing with black magic marker all over the side of the couch when I was three years old. I had to finish writing my story because I ran out of paper. It is actually my oldest “thought.” I remember making the decision to write on the couch because it was definitely “big enough.” I can still see my hand, the marker, every word of the story, and my father’s face. The story I wrote when I was three, along with the story about the process of writing that story appears in my book, “Silent Pages, Loud Thoughts, & Short Stories.”

What is the most challenging obstacle you have ever overcome?

I don’t know if I’ve overcome it yet. The most challenging obstacle is my own defeatist thoughts. I am a horribly tough critic. My mind tells me you should give up, you cannot change the world, you will ultimately die a failure—but then my being says, that isn’t you, you must press on, you will do it, you can “help” this world, you are incapable of giving up.

What things would you want people to remember about you?

Just one thing; and I know it’s not a word, but I’d like people to say he was the “goodest” person they’ve ever known. I don’t want people to remember how brilliant I was, or how well I wrote, or all the things I accomplished—I just want them to remember quite simply that I was one of the “goodest.” And I’d like the thought of me to act as a catalyst—I want people to think about themselves and their own experiences when they think about me.

How would you describe the American Dream? Does it exist?

This is the most important question you have asked. This must be addressed in a legacy of work, not just an Interview answer. The American Dream is an extremely complex human universal, while at the same time uniquely different for each individual. It still exists, but it is constantly abused and beaten-up by our politicians, government, corporations, ignorance, dogmas, & sheltered lives.

America is really an idea, a philosophy, a way of being; and you don’t have to be born in America, or live in America, to be an American. Many people in America are no longer true Americans and it really isn’t their fault. They are debt ridden, struggling, working hard, only to never get ahead, constantly worried, and ultimately feeling hopeless. Additionally, when it comes to countries, for too many reasons to discuss, America is not perfect, but surely the absolute best place. It is the greatest place in the world to live because anyone from any part of the world can find a niche of familiar things and people. America has made bits and pieces of ALL cultures her very own.

To really LEARN about the American Dream, LIVE the American Dream, FIND and DEFINE it for yourself; I encourage you to read as many of the GREAT American Authors you can; then LEARN about GREAT authors in other countries and cultures. Your American Dream, the American Dream will become as clear as day.

What do you think our government owes us? (if anything) Do we have a role as citizens in this situation?

Our government owes it to us to NOT continually change, adapt, adopt, and create laws. They are controlling our lives and convincing us it is not only good for us, and the best they can do, but also FREEDOM. WE need to take control of our government once again by not electing politicians and business tycoons. We give them the power, but at the same time look at our choices? The very best candidates get no exposure. It is time for us to make this country better by CLEANING HOUSE and saying, all these democrats and republicans are a bunch of bullshit artists and assholes; and I’ve had enough of this shit! So no, the government doesn’t owe us anything, we owe it to ourselves.

Remember you heard it HERE FIRST folks; this Presidential election & campaign was “Change,” “Change,” “Be the Change,” “We are the Change” & “Change.” We needed that, people felt good about that, people thought yes, we are making a difference and “change” is what we need. To those with a keen eye, this “change” we have embraced is unfortunately more of the same and part of the machine. Our current President has just perpetuated the madness of his predecessors and is exactly the same evil. The next big Presidential campaign will be “Return to Basics” “Getting back to Grassroots,” “Going back to the days of Yesteryear,” “Return to simplicity,” “Return to normalcy.” The entire thing is scripted and absurd! Nothing is going to change or get better unless WE the PEOPLE become actively involved; this means doing a hell of a lot more than merely voting.

I love NY & I know you live there...what things would you suggest NOT to miss when visiting NY?

Well, when you come to NY you should do the things that regular New Yorkers do. Sure the Empire State Building and Statue of Liberty and Macy’s and Time Square and the museums, and Broadway…all that stuff is great, but you can miss a few of those or just fly through them and take a few pictures.

What you CANNOT MISS is “Central Park,” just an amazing oasis in the middle of the concrete jungle. You have to walk around, bring some food, maybe a blanket, book, Frisbee. Also, you must eat a real piece of pizza, good pizza. I recommend six pizza joints all for different reasons, but “Ray’s Pizza” you will find easily and is awesome. I like the Ray’s Pizza on Prince Street between Elizabeth & Mott. Also a good Ray’s on 7^th Avenue between 53^rd & 54^rth.

And a ride in a taxi, also get on a subway—both are like the roller coaster rides from hell for the squeamish and very exhilarating to the thrill seeker. You’ll be sure to have at least one crazy person talk to you as well; and that makes your trip all the more worth it!

In The Lounge w/ Gentleman Player!

2009-11-16T22:36:00.008-05:00

It does me honor to introduce you to one of my first followers on Twitter. He has kept in touch from the beginning and always has interesting things going on. One thing I always love is that he gets me going by posting some of the best music, past and present... He also posts some of the best pictures from all over the world on his journeys.

Gentleman Player
Twitter Handle---> @GentlemanPlayer
http://www.myspace.com/GentlemanPlayer

What is your profession?
I am a network systems technician. Basically my current job takes me to American embassies and upgrade their computer networks and equipment.

What motivates you or excites you?
I'm the type of person that likes to see my family and friends do well as I am. Don't get it twisted, I make sure my stuff is straight. But I like to share the wealth. I have two close friends. One is overseas right now, the other is in Georgia.

You travel quite a bit, where is the best place you have been in the world.
I have been blessed to have been able to travel all over thanks to my job. Stateside: the best place was Phoenix . It was a nice suprise and the openess of the desert city. My favorite cites overseas would have to be Wellington, New Zealand and Lima, Peru. Peru was a blast! I just had fun down there. And New Zealand was a pleasant surprise. I would love to go to those two cities again.

How did you find Twitter?
I was (and still am) an active user on Myspace. I had heard about twitter late 2008. So I decided to go and make a profile on Twitter.

What was your objective in joining Twitter?
Part of the reason was to follow those people I was following on Myspace (a loyalty thing). But I saw it as an instant way of letting folks know what I was up to.

What makes Twitter worthwhile for you? Any specific experiences?
I've gotten to connect with people that I have been a fan of for years. Most are Hip-hop artists (Brand Nubian, MC Lyte, Busta Rhymes), adult entertainers (Sinnamon Love, Kitten, Angel Kelly, Mercedes Ashley), musicians (Gerald Albright, Marsha Ambrosius, Lalah Hathaway). The fun part is connecting with everyday folks like myself.

Are you on any other social/music/other networks? If not do you have a website yourself?
I'm on Myspace, Blackplanet, and Imeem (same username: GentlemanPlayer or Gentleman Player), and I have a YouTube profile under a different name

You tweet alot of great music. Is there a piece of music or literature that changed your life in any way? Is there any music that no one should miss hearing?
I have always loved music. My stepfather got me hooked on rock music like The Police, George Michael and Pink Floyd. Growing up in the late 70's, I heard the disco sound (Chic, GQ) and the funk bands. (Parliament-Funkadelic, Boosty Collins, Con Funk Shun) And, of course, I have lived the Hip-hop genre. Sugarhill Gang to Lil Wayne, I've heard it all. But I also love jazz. From Miles Davis to Ronny Jordan, jazz is my third favorite genre behind hip-hop and R&B. I also love reggae, dancehall and Latin music. And I'm trying to collect music from the African continent.

Back in 1995, I was writing a lot of poetry for myself. I actually wrote a rap song (back in 1994), and some other pieces. But there was one piece that has always been a favorite.

DREAMS
By Gentleman Player
January 8, 1995

I dream about the future, I dream about the past,

Sometimes I dream slowly, sometimes fast.

I dream about the women in my life that always cared,

I dream about the women that were not even there.

I dream about death and I dream about life,

I dream about the day that I'll be free of strife.

I dream about war and I dream about peace,

I dream about the time where time will cease.

I dream about love and I dream about hate,

I dream about what will become my fate.

The devil can take my soul, so it may seem,

But he will never succeed in taking my dreams.

What things would you want people to remember about you?

That I always looked out for my friends and my family before myself. Some would say that I'm too caring, but that's just me.

Alot of people are talking about 2012, the Mayan calendar, and end of the world. What do you think about this, if anything?
Personally, I think it's a bunch of B.S. They said 2000 was gonna be the end of the world. It's 2009. I don't get caught up in that doomsday talk. When God feels it is time for me to come join him, he will come and get me. I'm no Bible thumper, mind you. But I do believe in God and I talk to Him in my own personal way.

If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?
I have a few. Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Mahatma Ghandi, Benazir Bhutto, Nelson Mandela. And, of course, President Barack Obama.

Let Me Introduce You...#Music Monday Twitter Friends!

2009-11-15T18:21:00.013-05:00

Part of the reason I love Twitter is the interaction with all of the different types of people. I follow all kinds...writers, singers, models, executives, etc. It's always nice to find people on Twitter who actually talk to you once in awhile. I decided to sporadically put the spotlight on some of my Twitter friends. I want to showcase these first 2 for MusicMonday because they are musically inclined. I have added their music to the playlist at the bottom of my blog. I want to thank them for taking interest in doing this interview. Let me introduce you to The Peacebreaker & DatDudeSuccess...

Twitter Handle--> @ThePeacebreaker
Website---------> http://thepeacebreaker.com
Featured music by Dragnet in the Playlist at bottom of the page.

What is your profession?
I'm a dental assistant, student and a rap artist

What motivates you or excites you?
I motivate myself...really...but it comes from seeing my mom word hard growing up not wanting myself to have to struggle at an older age.

What is one thing in which you are the absolute best?
I have been told that I am good at writing, drawing and sex...lol

Where is the best place you have been in the world?
I would say my favorite place that I have been to so far would be Malta, Spain...great place to be in the summer...

How did you find Twitter?
I found out about Twitter through a guy named Nash P from Louisiana...he's a rapper I've been cool wit for a minute

What was your objective in joining Twitter?
To network...and I have been on it...it has definitely opened up some doors for me

What makes Twitter worthwhile for you? Any specific experience?
The females on twitter are hilarious....just to be able to really know what they think is an insight that every guy should take note of

Name 3 things you couldn't live without...
My mom, music and the freedom of speech

What is the most challenging obstacle you have ever overcome?
My biggest challenge was moving to Virginia to be away from everything that I ever knew and being able to sustain a normal life without any support from my family and friends in Texas
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twitter Handle---> @DatDudeSuccess
Website----------> http://www.myspace.com/imdatdudesuccess
Featured music in the playlist below by DatDudeSuccess

What is your profession?
I'm a recording artist/model/actor out of Brooklyn, New York who calls his self
Dat Dude Success

What motivates you or excites you?
What motivates me the most is the individuals who bring me down ...those who don't still motivated me but sometimes a negative can be positive.

Where is the best place you have been in the world.
The best place I've been so far was Miami. The scene is very unique and its style mimics none. But best believe my days aren't over yet so you never know where your going to get a new answer

How did you find Twitter?
lol awww man...where do i start? Well my boy told me about it and he's real bad at explaining things so I thought it sucked.... long story short, I'm on that bad boy 10 times a day lol

What was your objective in joining Twitter?
Networking and meeting different people

Name 3 things you couldn't live without...
sleep
food
and love

What things would you want people to remember about you?
The open mic... my mind is so free its not even funny. I say things that others are afraid to say.

Orientation on Sex

2009-10-04T20:17:00.006-04:00

I hear alot of people who love making generalizations about different things. One happens to be sexual orientation. Someone was tweeting the other day about how women who are bisexual are just trying to fit in or don't know how straight women feel...bla bla bla. I hear men afraid that if their girlfriend is bisexual she will leave them. The ones who love it want to anticipate the fun they will have later. Maybe there are women like this, as a matter of fact I'm SURE there is. But let me shed some light on some things.

There is no cut and dried when it comes to sexual orientation. It is a whole spectrum of possibilities. So it is really ridiculous to lump people into groups, just like it would be for anything else that people can generalize about. I'm sure there are women who are bisexual who like women more....but some also like men more. Some straight women want to fantasize or try being with a woman and some don't. Some lesbians are also the same, want to know what being with a man is like, or have tried it and decided on women instead. I can't speak for everyone....I am what I am. I lived years as a straight woman, but guess what? I can't help the fact that I am a bisexual woman and wouldn't change it for the world.

I knew pretty early that I was attracted to women as well as men. I repressed it for some time, but decided why hide it? I love being with women, touching them, kissing them. I love eating pussy but I am funny about whose I put my face in. I thought long and hard before I decided to interact with a woman sexually and by then I knew exactly what I wanted. I don't think you have to be bisexual to admire the female form, but I like to do more than look once in awhile. It doesn't mean I want to fool around with every woman I come by either. I am nowhere near a conformist. I know some who claim to be bisexual for attention, but that is not me at all. I have no reason to impress anyone and could think of better ways to do that. I don't try to talk straight women into messing with me. Why when there are plenty of women comfortable with messing with me on their own? Some bisexuals act as if they couldn't be monogamous because they are bisexual. That is bullshit and just an excuse not to be faithful if you ask me. Them being straight wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference.

I said I love playing with women, but when it comes to being in a relationship I want a man. Nothing is like a nice stiff dick in your bed in the morning. I love feeling protected by a man and admiring the male form. I don't want to be in a relationship with or marry a woman. Once I am with a man I won't HAVE to have relations with a woman either(unless we both decide to together for fun). Just because this is the way I am doesn't mean I can't go without female interaction. I prefer MEN. No man who is with me will have to worry about me straying either way, with a man OR woman. I'm very comfortable with who I am...and the one who ends up with me better be also.

~Take Your Positions~

2009-09-05T23:50:00.005-04:00

What is your favorite position during sex? I do my best to have a good time no matter what, so position doesn't make much difference to me LOL. I don't really have a favorite position. It differs with size of man that I'm with, size and shape of his dick, and can even differ with mood. I'm gonna get my orgasm no matter what, so I need not concentrate on any certain position.

Now don't get me wrong, there are certain positions that hit that spot better than others. But any significant curve in the dick can reverse this. I love a slow grinding doggie, ass up with head laid on the bed, while I rub on my clit at the same time. I guess if I HAD to choose a favorite maybe this is it. It's the perfect multi-orgasmic position, at least if the guy is long enough and his curve isn't too cockeyed. I can remember using this position many times until I am growling and grabbing the sheets and pillows for leverage. I also love what I call inverse missionary, which is kind of derived from reverse cowgirl. Start in reverse cowgirl, point your feet toward the guy's head, kind of lay forward, and then you have inverse missionary. It also hits a wonderful spot, and someone once told me that he felt like his dick was gonna break off LOL. It felt great to me though and I guess it works because he dick is still there.

I have tried many different positions and some silly guys always want to try or talk about all those acrobatic ones that are really bullshit. I can't concentrate on what I am doing and get my orgasm going on if I am worried about falling or losing my balance LOL. Fuck all of the extracurricular stuff, just HIT MY SPOT! I am not filming a porno (at least not usually most of the time), so there is no need to show off for any reason. I enjoy foreplay and taking time to play around and try new things, but I found out that alot of it is a waste of time and really a guy's way of showing HIMSELF what he can do for bragging rights.

I now know what gets me off the right way and it goes way farther than any position. I can cum by just a thought, without even being touched. My imagination and freakiness exceeds that favorite position bullshit, that is unless I am trying to keep holding my leg up in some ridiculous stance and can't at least grab my clit to help myself out. Save that shit for Cirque de Soleil please. I'm not into it... Like I said I'm very adventurous and willing to try many, but don't twist me in a pretzel unless you are ready to grind it good. Hammering me with my legs behind my head isn't good either...as you notice even the ocean has a nice grinding, flowing motion. Don't try that fancy stuff unless you really know what you are doing, you can hurt somedamnbody LOL.

Happy Birthday To Me...Happy Birthday To Me...

2009-09-05T22:20:00.003-04:00

Friday was my birthday. The past few years on my birthday I had wild parties. Some at bars or pubs and some at the bathhouse I go to. Throwing 2-3 parties a year gets to be a little much, so this year I decided to lay low and maybe go to dinner a couple times with friends and family. I don't feel a bit older. I guess depends on the situation sometimes, but I feel great for my age and am told alot that I don't look it. I love being 34...I feel ripe for the picking and better than I have felt at any other hallmark age.

So I guess it began at midnight, with all of the special birthday wishes and shoutouts. It felt nice. The best came when I woke up in the morning though. MiniMe comes into my room after she got dressed for school and sang Happy Birthday and then gave me a card. It was a cute one. Shaped like a cat, there was a tag on it that said "pull me"...and when I pulled it meowed the Happy Birthday song LOL. Easily the best card that I have ever gotten on my birthday. So the day started really well and I looked forward to grabbing dinner later on.

After lounging all day it was finally time to grab MiniMe and head to Carmel's. Carmel's is one of my favorite haunts and I go often for a bite to eat and a drink. My sister was supposed to meet us after she got off of work, which was like 90 minutes after we got there. We figured why not just go and chill with a drink and some appetizers until then. I sipped on a Margie over some crab nachos, pico de gallo, and funky bean dip. I had the jumbo Margie...anyone who has eaten at Carmel's knows that even the regular size is a killer. They make their own tequila, and their recipe is super secret, not even the bartenders know it. Usually I can only drink one, but I figure that since we are waiting that I can probably drink the jumbo one as long as eating with it.

Sis finally gets there and we order our food. My first drink is gone, so I order another to go with dinner. After the first couple of sips I already started to feel tipsy. My eyes couldn't focus on what I was doing but I was totally aware of it all. I remember all of it, going to the bathroom and even sitting on the bathroom floor waiting for MiniMe to go. I remember going back to the table and laying my head in her lap and passing out while the rest of the table finished their dinner lol. I found out later that a friend called and MiniMe talked and laughed with him as I slept LOL. I layed in the back of the truck (mind you the seats were all layed down) on our way home. I was totally out of it, and crashed on the bed as soon as we walked through the door.

I woke up around 11pm, fully clothed, feeling totally dehydrated, crowded on the bed with 2 other people sprawled out next to me. I had wanted to make it down to Club Zodiac for the AfterParty for the video shoot that went on that day but I wasn't feeling it at that point. I undressed down to my skivvies and then attempted to log onto the computer. I was still so exhausted that I fell back asleep before the computer could even boot up. I woke up 30-40 minutes later with the laptop dead next to me LOL. I finally woke back up and logged on. I had to grab a bottle of cold water to rehydrate myself. I would have hated to wake up all dry and hungover. I told MiniMe to head to bed...and she decided to sleep in my room. It was nice to have her there to be honest. It was also funny to watch her strip to her skivvies like me LOL...she is truly like my clone. I tried to sit up and talk to Mr Hondo on the phone...but I was drifting and could barely hang on...sleep started to take me over and eventually it did.

Even if it wasn't totally what I planned, I had a good time. I wish I hadn't gotten so drunk, but oh well, such is life and it wasn't so bad. I guess it was a funny moment and I have something to laugh at later. My only regret was getting so sloshed in front of MiniMe, but I wasn't crude or bad acting and she took good care of me lol. All in all it was one of the best birthdays I have had, even if there wasn't any parties involved. Now to prepare for dinner with friends on Tuesday...Margie free LOL.

Wandering Aimlessly...

2009-08-30T12:17:00.010-04:00

Let's face it, there are people we all know who always give us an interesting time when in their presence. We know that by being around them we will never get bored, we will have a few laughs, or end up doing some weird shit....or all of the above LOL. Of all of the people I know, these are the most entertaining...I got invited out by one of these people for last night and these reasons are some of the reasons that I couldn't turn them down. My main reason, however, if because I had not been able to take a nice steam in a long while. I craved the Schvitz...and will almost never turn down an invitation to go. The company of quirky funny, interesting, open minded people is always a plus.

I just knew that I would deserve a good meal and a steam. I got alot done at home and then dropped MiniMe at her dad's house for the rest of the weekend. I packed some clothes, toiletries, oils, and shampoo in one of my tote bags. I also took a nice bath, exfoliated my skin, and shaved to get ready. I love preparing for a steam. It is great for the skin and to clean the body of toxins. So the wait for my ride comes...and his date meets me at my house a few minutes before he does. We shoot the shit until he arrives. He pulls up and we start some small talk as we hit the highway. No traffic, which is good because the construction isn't holding anyone up...He adjusts his GPS and we are on our way.

Why do people with GPS's not pay attention to where they are going? LOL...I mean they are used as guides, but they don't replace your own mind's eye and watching the actual highway signs that are in your path. I see it all the time lol...men and women...dependent on the GPS over anyone else's directions or even over their own common sense. I was giving directions one time...mind you me and this person are on the same highway, so all he needed was the exit number near me. He was still intent on wanting the address so that he could pop it into the GPS and get directions from Layla (yes alot of them are programmed with names of their own, as if real people lol). I guess he didn't have enough common sense (or didn't wanna use it) to just follow the exit numbers until he got to mine LOL. Anyway....

We are cruising down the highway...Ralphie is zooming in the Caddy as we all chit chat. We have some ways to go, so no worries really. We are in the rightmost lane most of the time. There are some points where the rightmost lane turns into an exit lane for the next turn off...so a few times I had to remind Ralphie to move lanes because he came close to getting off on the exits... I don't think he was watching the signs lol. {stay left} On the way we get a call from Fish. He had called the place to make sure it was still open that night since it was in the middle of their maintenance season and found out that the kitchen wasn't going to be open. It shook our plans since we were all ready for a nice fat homemade steak...but oh well life moves on and Fish says he will meet us there anyway and search for places along the way on his GPS (here we go with the GPS again lol). While almost there Ralphie does get off on the wrong exit, not watching the signs LOL. {stay right} He got hung up on an exit lane, and was forced to get off. Watching the GPS, wondering where it would tell us to go next he continues down the street, only for it to tell us to turn around LOL.

We all meet, and Fish has failed to find somewhere to eat (damn GPS's LOL)...so we are wrecking our brains. He mentions a pizza place that he heard was very good...so he puts it into his GPS, we jump into Ralphie's car, and head on our way. Ralphie and Fish are both talkers. I mean they can wear out a phone call and watching them both is like a scene from a rollover minute commercial. The GPS is trying to do her thing...but for some reason has developed a stutter in her speech, I think because of Ralphie's fast driving lol. {In 1.8 miles, turn right} They yak up a storm...as Kitty and I relax in the back seat and await our meal, not predicting the snafus that are to come. {In 0.8 miles, turn right} I am wondering if anyone is even paying attention to the GPS...since we are speeding along lol...{turn right, turn right} then Fish catches it at last minute and says turn right here. We are in a bad neighborhood and wondering if it's even worth it. Then we find the place and see that there is no sit down room.

Next choice...Roma Cafe in the Eastern Market area of Detroit. We head there, it isn't too far away, just 2 exits up. We get off of the exit and turn right. {In 0.5 miles, turn right} They are yapping away, neither one listening. Kitty and I look at one another wondering if Ralphie's car even had brakes lol. {turn right, turn right}...Ralphie keeps going and we all yell, "You just missed our turn." He turns around and we turn down the right way. {In 0.3 miles, turn left} He passes the next turn lol...just then Fish suggests we try a pizza place around the corner that he stopped at once. We go over there and there is a 1.5 hour wait...no thanks...so we go ahead and return to Roma Cafe, where the wait is 45min. SIGHS...no one feels like waiting...we try some place around the corner, kitchen is closed, but she suggests a few others that are just bars. Never mind... Fish says let's go into Greektown. Did he forget this is a Saturday night? Are we really going to find somewhere in Downtown Detroit, Greektown, on a Saturday evening with no wait...? {In 0.3 miles turn left} We get to Greektown and turn down the main drag...swarms of people in lines out of every eatery.

At this point Kitty and I wonder if we will ever eat...and Fish gets frustrated and says fuck it let's go back to Roma Cafe. GOOD IDEA! We head back, park, & go in...and our walk isn't as long as we thought, which is good. We had a great meal and left...longing for a nice steam. We get there around 930pm or 10...get our lockers keys and undress for the steamroom. I broiled myself almost to death as I awaited my plaitza...and the cool dip in the pool was AWESOME. We leave the steam for awhile and wander around the place...going upstairs to see what is going on there. There are bodies scattered around the room...and we spot Ralphie and Kitty in a booth so we slide into the booth next to them and sit to relax with some ice water, both exhausted from the steamroom. Then we spot Marvin and Little Marv. LOL Marvin is a guy who walks around the place constantly stroking his cock, who we call Little Marv....LOL. He is wandering around getting a view of everyone. We wander downstairs to give one another massages since we both needed one and we get a nice view of a sexy foursome on the table next to ours. One of the couples we have seen there before quite a few times and they are VERY good looking, so was a joy to watch. We finished up and had a last steam to complete our broiling, then lethargic, we shower and get dressed to leave. Kitty is trying to call someone to come get her since they babysat her son...figures would save her some time.

Kitty's ride had not even left yet by the time we were ready to go...I guess stupidity can be a good excuse for procrastination. So Ralphie says let's just meet them halfway, since it's pretty much a straight shot across the highway from Ann Arbor. {In 0.5 miles, turn right, exit left} We wander down the highway, and she keeps calling to find out where her babysitters are...and they are bullshitting about which exits they are on. She could have just asked which exit number they were at...the whole thing was quite irritating and a waste of time. At that point I started wandering in and out of slumber...catching little bits of her yelling and Ralphie trying to calm her down. We ended up getting off the exit heading back home to Toledo since her babysitter seemed to not know where the hell they were and were complaining that they had no gas to go any further. Kitty said would just get dropped back to her car to look for herself.

All in all it was a good night. Like I said you get some people together and you know it will be a blast even if you wander aimlessly. I slept okay...even though I went to bed at about 330am and my body clock woke me up around 7 or 8. It was all worth it because in the end I got my great meal and a steam, which I had craved for weeks. My skin is glowing and soft as a baby's...lol. So all of my goals were met even if there was some funny stuff in between...which in essence makes it all the better.

Relationship Starved...

2009-08-24T00:17:00.003-04:00

We all know people who always need to be with someone. Needy...predictable...irritating...no advice taking people who will do anything to keep someone laying in their beds next to them. Maybe something is wrong with me....I have never been like that. It's good to have good company, but I guess I have always been pretty much of a loner and have no problems lounging, eating out, going to movies, and other things by my lonesome. I can be nicer or more personable than most loners that I know. In some ways that leaves doors open for people who seem to be hungry for attention and validation by way of different sorts of clingy relationships. But they quickly learn that I am not about bullshit and don't like to be manipulated. I will turn my back in a heartbeat.

I used to have a friend who was from China. Nice enough lady who was a little older than me. She is kind of spacey and disoriented acting....kind of acts lost. But I think that is part of her manipulation. She is one of these people who happens to be starving for closeness....I am not sure of what kind exactly. She is very pushy, but acts as if she doesn't know she is pushing. She wants the perfect upscale life of her dreams. She has been vehemently searching for a man to take care of her. She doesn't want to work. She wants a female friend or group of friends who can go out with her for brunch every Sunday. She even moved in with some guy and had him taking care of her. She is constantly asking me for advice about men or about the men in her life. She gets angry when my advice isn't what she wanted to hear. Oh well....I call it like I see it, no holds barred. Jealousy isn't the culprit either. I am not a jealous person and wouldn't put that burden on anyone I know in life.

These types of women...not sure what to say about them. Of course there are men that are that way. It's just a different dynamic. Women like her end up either playing games with the guys who are starved and leading the guys on...or being taken advantage of by guys who don't give a shit but know she craves the attention. The vice versa is the same on the men's side also. It's woman like this that make some of the others look bad. They use games and fake feelings...sometimes use the man's desire of what is between their thighs...thinking they will snag some man to be theirs forever. On the other side some guys use the neediness of the women and shower them with gifts and such to gain control.

It's a pathetic situation and I feel sorry for both parties involved in relationships like this. If someone doesn't want to be with you without expecting things in return...what is the use? Using the mystique of your pussy to catch a man only works for the short term. I don't care if you end up marrying...what happens when someone finds out there is no substance there? The bad thing is that it's these types of relationships that probably last the most. Wanna know why? Each party has their own manipulative reason for being there...and is very happy to play the games that keep the other one dancing in limbo...wondering what to do next. The thrill of chasing or the controlling attitude of feeling you have to keep this person gets to them. They will most likely not let go...and will never work on themselves enough to repair the damage of their personality that makes it possible to find a healthy relationship. Sometimes it's a good thing to let go...the winner doesn't always stay. It's really a shame when kids get involved in things like this...and it's hardly ever healthy for them. Kids are smarter than most people realize and catch onto things VERY easily. Just like my old friend that was mentioned...she has ignored her daughter in order to find the man of her dreams.

She has been trying to get ahold of me...but never bothered to call. Why contact mutual friends and act like I have ignored you when you haven't bothered to try me directly? Tell me there isn't some manipulation in that regard... She shows up at my door, luckily I wasn't home at the time so she put a note in the mail slot. Why show up at my door? I guess she felt I couldn't say no if face to face? On the contrary I have no problems saying no and have told her about it beforehand. She has made time to go to brunch with me and cancelled and not shown up after I took time to leave space in my day. When we have gone she just wants to sit and talk about how to pick up guys and how she should do that. I don't want to sit and hammer out plots to find rich guys. I have no desire to tell anyone how to manipulate guys by throwing their pussy at them. Sorry.

Get comfortable in your own skin. Find a way to be able to spend time alone with yourself. Nothing teaches you about your view of relationships more. You can't possibly know what is good for you...what you like or need... if you let your pussy lead you and you are always with someone. My mind is more powerful than my pussy. It's the most easy thing in the world to go wave my crotch around and catch some man's attention. Is it HIS attention that I want? If I did it how easy will it be for another woman to do it to the same man? I would feel better if I knew I was comfortable with myself...and he got to know me, my brain, my soul, and my comfort level. Then I know he has become attached to me for a UNIQUE reason...not a pussy that is a dime a dozen.

~Milk Does A Body Good~

2009-08-12T00:59:00.008-04:00

I know many have heard about my milkbaths. I love to make sure my skin is taken care of...probably more than the average chick. But really there isn't as much effort that goes into it as you would think. I love that with little trouble my skin and hair can feel silky smooth...and I love that I get so many compliments on it. My name Cocos Butter partly comes from my love for coconuts...not for eating, but for the use of them on my body. My favorite soap is made of coconut oil mostly...Kirk's Castile...and I have been using it since I was a little girl. It's GREAT for the skin and the only bar soap I will lay my hand on. Cocoa butter and coconut milk lotion are also great....but most of the time I don't even need those. On the days that I shave I use vaseline...then I hardly need lotion at all. I also found a great lotion, as well as shampoo and conditioner in Santa Fe called Yuzu....OMFG great!

No doubt I am known for my milkbaths. Even more fun then feeling my skin is feeling my skin while soaking in milk. It's a wonderful feeling! The looks that I get in the grocery store while picking up 20-30 gallons of milk is priceless in itself. It gives me an excuse to explain what I am using it for...and everyone is always amazed to hear for a bath. I guess they assume I'm feeding a school full of kids milk and cookies? LOL... Coconut oil is a great exfoliant too...but it mixes with milk better than water so that is a reason I started milkbaths. The hardest part is deciding what to do while the milk heats up...hehehe... I am not easily bored so romping around naked while I wait is alot of fun or maybe sliding across wooden floors with knee socks and boyshorts does a body good. I usually sit aside a little milk and coconut oil and mix it with some rum too...gets me good and ready to get loose...taking my milkbaths usually turn me on. Nothing like sliding into some sheets with a freshly washed, pampered, shaved body...Ooohhh.

My baths have become somewhat of a ritual. I lay the candles out and get the bathroom ready with soft music. On a nice day I like to open all of the windows. I get the milk as hot as I can stand...then I add coconut oil to it. If I don't feel like heating up a bunch of milk I can substitute half hot water too. But I usually end up using 3/4 milk and 1/4 water...the more milk the better. I light the candles...and since I am usually naked by then all I have to do is ease my body into the bathtub. I love to just lay as if I'm floating for a looonnggg time. It's kind of like being in a soundproof chamber. I can barely hear the radio that I have playing. I let the milk flow all over my body and seep into my pores. I can feel it in every crease and crevice as it does it's work on my skin. Sometimes I take the time to feel myself up in there...the liquid feels so smooth and velvety...especially as hot as it is on my skin. Once I have finished soaking I get out and pop into a hot shower...if I shave I usually do it in there. I also wash my hair in the shower with tea tree, yuzu, or awapuhi shampoo. When I get done washing and shaving I enjoy smoothing a thin layer of vaseline onto every inch.

I enjoy the look and feel of my skin after it is all finished. The first night after a milkbath and shaving and things always makes me horny enough to either get a nice hard cock or lay in the bed with my finger LOL.... There is just nothing like a soft velvety body ready to be touched. Soft hair and silky skin from head to toe is quite a commodity. There isn't much to it, as I said before...but it's well worth the time after it's said and done. I love the way it feels and so far so has everyone else who has run their hands over my body...or even touched my hands. SOFT... That's probably why I am always rubbing up against myself and staring at my body in the mirror LOL... So ladies don't bother saying how you wish you had it...because I just told you EXACTLY how to get it. Take the time and stop talking about it.

In The Name Of Christ....

2009-08-11T15:38:00.002-04:00

I had a conversation with my daughter....and she told me that a family member of her dad's said that she has a demon in her and she was going to rebuke it back to where it came from. This family member doesn't know how close she actually came to seeing a demon at that point. I had steam coming from my ears. I held off and just talked to MiniMe's dad about the situation and he enlightened me on some things about this cousin of his. The cousin is a religious fanatic...and believes her following of the Bible makes her holier than everyone else. This isn't the first time I have heard of this, I do often. They are all over. People who want to have everyone else thinking the way they do and want to use Jesus or God's name in order to get the belief they crave. Just because you use the name of Christ doesn't mean that your way is the right way...and it sure doesn't make you any closer to God than anyone else. Just because someone doesn't go your way or believe the way you do doesn't mean they are a demon or from the devil. To corner anyone, especially a child and say something like she did just means she isn't truly Godly anyway. But you could never make her believe that either.

People are going to twist things the way they want to see them and depending on their motives will turn things to how they want others to perceive it as well. Just as Hannity and Limbaugh are doing in he political game to cause conflict...religious zealots seem to do the same. They translate the Bible however they want and connect things that are not even there. For instance I have seen people talk about Jesus translated into the language of the Old Testament is Yeshua because they want to believe he was mentioned in there. That has not been proven...Jesus was never mentioned in the Old Testament. It mentions Y'shua, which means thy salvation...and that word was never connected as being a person at all. Yeshua is the Hebrew translation of Joshua, which was mentioned a few times for other men in the Bible who carried that name. How they get Jesus out of that is stretching a bit...but people are quick to jump to that conclusion because that is what they are taught. In fact to translate Jesus into the language of the Old Testament is wrong to even try....the name Jesus is the English translation of the Greek name of Iesous, which was the name given in the New Testament, which was originally in Greek. So why not translate Iesous into Hebrew? They have their own reasons why they feel the way they do...but instead of going the right route, they prefer to reach and twist things to fit their own motives.

Everyone here on Earth has their own path to go....their own life to live. They will learn things as they are supposed to or maybe not at all. That is not for anyone else to judge. It's funny how someone can judge someone else's life....and then turn around and call them a demon. LOL...Doesn't that take you off of the high horse? Some even kill to prove their points...WOW...and do you think they have a right to judge? It's amazing what I hear sometimes from people who claim they are the most Holy on Earth...yet some of them spout the most hate and judgement. They love to lay judgement and then act as if it was the word of Christ. They can't speak for your relationship with Christ and they can't tell you what your fate is. That isn't for THEM to know. Guess what....God isn't going to save you....neither is Christ. That isn't their roles in our lives. No religion is better than any other....and since there is a GREAT deal of politics behind the tenets of religion in the first place...we need to find our OWN spirituality and stop using the Bible as a law book for people's souls. Everyone has their own path and just because someone isn't taking yours doesn't mean they are lost. People ask why does God allow certain things to take place on Earth? He doesn't ALLOW anything....WE allow it. Once we were put here we decide what paths we take. Some people here are dark souls and don't care about another single person. Just because someone appears to act good doesn't mean they are. Don't let the fact that someone uses Christ's name sway you to think that you have to follow their way. Many that take things to the extreme to ensure themselves of their own salvation take the Bible too literally. There is a multitude of people here from different backgrounds, religions, sexual orientations, political views, on and on and on....for a reason. We need to learn how to get along and LIVE AND LET LIVE.

I know it's hard for some to just let others live their lives without judgement. Sometimes it's too hard to put yourself in the others shoes or try to see things from their point of view. But that is the test of living on Earth that is necessary. My views greatly differ from many other people and I have caught alot of flack from them. SO WHAT...I think the way I choose and will continue to. I don't believe in hell. I also don't believe that when we die we will stand at any Pearly Gates and be judged as to whether we will go to Heaven or Fiery Damnation. God is LOVE and we are his children...would you do that to your children? I don't think so...at least most of us wouldn't. I think the only judgement we are to do after death is judge what we have learned while here in life. Don't take the Bible so literally...especially one with so many pieces missing from it. Read ALL of the Bibles, compare them...and take into account the missing parts that are now available and read those too. Find your OWN truth and stop worrying about whether everyone feels the way you do...love and respect them anyway. They are also a part of God...put here just like you were. Who are you to judge them or say what their fate is?...NO ONE...that's who.

~Taking Care Of Yourself~

2009-08-08T17:50:00.009-04:00

Some think it's nasty...but it's a regular thing for some to do. I'm not talking about keeping yourself clean LOL....I'm talking about masturbation. I am not sure why some think it's nasty or perverted. You are touching your own body. You are exploring your own sexuality and finding out what feels good to you. I guess to some sex isn't supposed to feel good. It's supposed to be a way to procreate. To me that is bullshit...let's open our minds and stop letting others tell us what is the right thing to do. You in your heart know right from wrong. If you feel that touching yourself is wrong, then by no means do it. I'm not going to tell you what to do. I don't feel it's wrong and I do it quite a bit. I'm a realist. I know that there is a bunch of us who lay in bed horny or yearning to be touched and don't do it because of all kinds of fears or notions that they were taught. I know many who have a problem with touching themselves for fear that someone or God will have a problem with it.

I know what I like and just how to touch me....I know how to teach someone else what I like too. I am a strong woman and I am not going to blame the men I am with for not being able to pleasure me when I can tell them exactly how to achieve that goal. Why blame someone else when you have the ability to learn about your body and share that with the person you plan to be with. I think it's silly. It's silly to me, as I have said before, to just lay and be someone's object or pretend to be enjoying what is going on. THAT to me is wrong. Yet some want to take someone else's dignity because of things they do or because they are enjoying themselves. Ridiculous...I'm not just a hole...and I'm not just a baby making machine either. I enjoy touching myself. I do it every chance I get because guess what?...I LOVE how it feels. Sometimes I just graze my private parts and yearn to finish myself off...and guess what?...I usually go off somewhere and do just that. Alone in my bedroom...in the back room at work...in the shower or bath at home...and as I wrote before, in the ladies room at Bush Intercontinental Airport even... I don't see anything wrong as long as I am not shrugging my duties off and I have a few minutes to myself. Should I feel bad about it? If you think so...why? I think the judgemental hags who feel it's nasty to touch their own bodies are the ones who should feel bad. Those who lay and act simply as an open hole then complain that their lovers don't satisfy them should feel bad...and they do...but don't want to blame the right person, themselves. THAT is bad.

Have you ever heard of dharma? Part of dharma is the concept that we are in control of our own happiness most of the time. To me, masturbation could be part of that. How can you truly enjoy your sex life if you have so many hangups about sex? You can't... Imagine being so hung up you think your own pussy, which is a part of YOUR own body is nasty....WOW. Even worse are the women who place their pussies in control of their own happiness. Oh I'm abstinent because I don't need a man right now...because I am purifying myself...because sex has made me unhappy in the past...BULLSHIT. Then at the same time you are going around telling everyone and teasing guys with it. If it was REALLY something you were serious about it would be kept to yourself. Save yourself girls. Tell the TRUTH. The stupid insecurity that you are any better than anyone else or somehow mentally better or you have more dignity because you are not having sex or being touched....SAVE IT. Do me a favor...lick your fingers, slide them down below, softly massage your clit, and then slide them into your pussy. Rub yourself softly until you explode. THEN tell me how you feel. No woman who won't touch herself can be totally secure about herself and her body...and no one can tell me different.

Reading Rainbow...

2009-08-07T00:17:00.002-04:00

Reading Rainbow...I used to watch this show on TV almost every day. When I was small I loved the educational kids shows...National Geographic...Wheel of Fortune...alot of these fueled my love for reading and learning things. I couldn't imagine not knowing how to read. It's so natural for me. I had a few family members who helped support my love for reading and helped me understand how important it was. I also had teachers who paid attention...and many just could care less...it's just a job to get a check.

I used to have a friend whose hubby couldn't read. He even got lost because he couldn't read the street signs. He got a check every month because he couldn't...unbelieveable. Why not pay him to go to classes or encourage him to try to learn. Are you serious? It's a disability to be perfectly capable, but not willing to attempt to read. Of all the things around with words displayed...signs, labels, books, captions....I would feel totally left out of the equation of life if I couldn't decipher what was printed. I also think it's totally ignorant of our government to reward such a thing.

I, however, didn't realize just how widespread the problem was. I have heard of it sure...and knew some adults couldn't read. But I guess it wasn't in my face enough to comprehend. Today I was in a meeting where I saw just how illiterate some of us in America are and how common it was. There was a room of 8 other adults...all they had to do was sign 4 papers. It took a whopping 45min for them to do so. Then with someone going through an additional set of papers with them...they couldn't simply follow along. They had to be walked through every sheet...almost every paragraph and check-off box. 7 out of the 8...imagine that...only 1 didn't need constant help and supervision.

The education of our children is important but so is our own. If you don't see the need why should they? How can you know what is going on in the world if you can't even read the caption of a photo? I don't know how someone can disregard something that is so basic to the rest of us... It's crazy how some adults got by at all without the basic concept of literacy. But I guess it's all a part of this America we live in...people sometimes just get by. I wish more cared about more than just getting by...they deserve more and so do their kids.

Butter In Dreamland

2009-08-03T10:17:00.003-04:00

I've been having alot of dreams lately....I guess my mind has been emptying itself out LOL. Some are spliced up memories or crazy thoughts that in no way make any sense at all. Some seem like out of body experiences. Either way, they are always very vivid, in color, and I also tend to have smell. I guess it's rare to have smell in your dreams...but I do. It's almost like I'm REALLY there in the situation presented to me. I have ordered takeout, been robbed at gunpoint, and held a huge party outside in the rain. Very rarely does a dream turn me on though...and one had me REALLY close to explosion. So I want to make sure I share it with you.

I'm in some kind of underground, dungeon type of place. You know, one of those places where they have raves or the sexual cult parties or something. There is a bunch of people around, 20-30 or so...in robes or naked. I was naked, myself... However I only saw one other woman for sure. I don't know if there were any other women, I just didn't see any others. This woman was REALLY nice looking...I want to say Thai, but not sure. She was exotic. A little shorter than me with skin just as smooth. Long black hair and full lips. The only thing is....she had 6 titties LOL. The top set were full and probably a full D cup...the 2nd, middle pair were small....and the 3rd set were just nipples and barely noticeable. Her face and ass were BEAUTIFUL though...and so was the top set of breasts. So the other 4 didn't bother me at all because my brain seemed to pass over them anyway.

I was watching her go around the crowd of robes. Each having a feel here or there...kissing her on her neck or lips. She teases them all, one by one, walking around the crowd. I stand motionless...but I can feel my clit start to swell from excitement. Now and then she throws me a glance, as if to tantalize me while she teases them. I am loving the show, but still wondering how I got there and questioning myself about what I was seeing. Still I didn't move one step because I didn't want to miss anything. She comes over to me after a few minutes...and starts to look me deep into my eyes. I stare back at her. It seemed like this went on forever! There was some kind of connection between us for whatever reason. She stroked my hair and ran her fingers through it. It's like we wanted to smell one another and the phermones seeped in by osmosis. We finally kissed and it was long, soft, and deep. It got deeper with every stroke of our lips. I could feel all of the other eyes on us...watching to see what we would do. We let our hands roam all over each other's bodies as we did a sort of dance, slowly...still kissing....with our eyes still captivated in a deep stare. We touched each other all over, in every crevice and sweet spot. Nipples erect, clit swollen to the hilt...we swayed kind of side by side, slowly.

I feel someone come up behind me. At this point, I don't really care who it is but I know it's a man. I can feel his robe brush up against me and his lips on the back of my neck. He starts to let his hands roam...and they are soft...his breath is warm against my skin. I can feel his bulge from under his robe as he feels my breasts from behind. He opens his robe and lets his cock rub against my bare skin...and it makes me really moist to think of how it looks...but I don't take my eyes off of the girl. He starts to grind himself on me from the back, his cock is rock hard and his hands continue to roam. All of the other robes gather around us in a kind of circle, and they are all watching.

Now as this goes on, I know that I am asleep and dreaming, but I don't want it to stop because it's turning me on. I am laying on my stomach naked and grinding my bed....my big clit rubbing against my mattress. It's early morning and my first morning pee swells up on me, but I don't want to stop dreaming. I am thinking about what is going on in my dream...and am <THIS> close to having an orgasm...when Thai looks me in my eyes and says, "let's go to the bathroom." I follow her and imagine what we will be doing in there LOL. But she truly steps into a stall! GGRRRR! I figure I have to go anyway, so I do the same, but I come close to peeing in REAL life. So I have to wake up....OMFG UGH! Just my luck! Time to start my day...that was one of the best wet dreams I have ever had though...regardless of the woman having 6 titties LOL. That was a new one for me...

~Time Is Too Short~

2009-08-02T17:23:00.004-04:00

Things have been kind of hectic the last few weeks. The end of summer is near and it's always a busy time of year. Time seems to fly past us and before you know it, the events you planned have passed you by within the blink of an eye. I wanted a good vacation this summer, but now it has to wait for another time, BLEH! Oh well, I am more flexible than most and can wait until it's possible for me to go. It will make it even more special when I do get to take it finally. Maybe doing something special with MiniMe during one of her breaks from school will be a good idea.

For one, school will be starting back in a few weeks. Gosh, MiniMe has grown so big and mature. I bug out a little every time I see "5th grade" scribbled somewhere. WOW just yesterday she was tiny, and hard to believe she is almost in middle school already. Her feet are almost as big as mine and she can even wear some of my shirts. I try not to miss much time with her because every day she is learning something new. I look back at all the time that I spend traveling and working and I realize that she is more important. Spending this summer home also makes me see how important it is to her that I am here. I look back at me when I was her age...with the weight of the world on my shoulders...and then it's EASY for me to decide.

Too many people get caught up in the rat race of life and forget to stop and see what is around them. Then poof!....it's gone in a flash. Staring at the clock to see what you have to do and when...it gets to be alot for our brain to maintain. It's not a good feeling to look back and think of all of the things we have missed by slacking or working too much. What would you do if time stood still for a week or 2...what would you do with that extra space? What do you consider to be quality time?

Do A Good Job....

2009-07-27T09:53:00.002-04:00

I wanted to peek into the subject of blowjobs. I have heard of guys complaining because they aren't getting any, because they can't cum during one, or that girls aren't doing it right... This is a shame. My feelings are that if you don't WANT to do them, then don't. But don't judge anyone else for doing them because that is their business. I also don't think you should go down on a guy just to give him some half ass fellatio just because you think that is what he wants, or to shut him up. It's funny to me when girls want their pussy eaten, but don't want to put their mouths on his dick as if it has disease. Some girls also feel that they are giving up control, or giving the man the control when they get down there. Sorry but to me that is nowhere near the case. You have his cock in your hands...what can be more powerful than that? The sounds he makes, the faces, his pleasure is in YOUR hands at this time... I find nothing better than paying attention to every second and staring him in the face as I tantalize and tease him until he can barely take it.

There is an art to a good blowjob. It irritates me when you see a girl giving one and she is simply going up and down, slobbing on his dick, trying little tricks but not REALLY being into it or paying attention to the guy's reactions. If you watch him, you KNOW what feels good...you know which parts turn him on and which parts are just lukewarm. Nothing is better to me than to drive a man off his rocker crazy...and a good blowjob is certainly a great way to accomplish that. It turns me on. I can have an orgasm while giving a blow job and watching how the guy reacts to it. Moist, but not too wet...have to leave some friction...paying close attention to the line going up the underside of the cock, from the balls up. Watching him squirm and moan as I lick around it or maybe put each nut in my mouth softly, making them wet. Taking it all down into my throat until my lips rest against the shaft. Then to swallow every drop that comes out of it...all while I look him in the face and know how much he enjoys it.

Now THAT is control...there is nothing dirty about it. If he can do you, you can certainly return the favor. If you are worried about the taste of semen....feed him some fruit, especially pineapple, makes it ooohh soooo sweeeet! Keep him away from beer though, because that gives it a horrible weird salty, thick taste....ugh. Take a shower or bath together. Soak and wash one another....it's very erotic and could turn anyone on. But by all means don't be afraid to explore pleasure with his dick in your hands. He will love you for it. Once you get into it, you will love it too. I know I do, it's my favorite thing by far.

~Rub Me The Right Way~

2009-07-19T15:37:00.003-04:00

I love when guys approach me and try to impress me with sexual innuendo. The ones that do this actually fail miserably and rightly so. I don't want to know how big your dong is or what you are planning to do to me in your mind. To be honest, you have no idea how I am or what I like at that point anyway. It's all just talk until we have a REAL conversation. Trying to impress instead of just being you smells of desperation and sometimes shallow cockiness. I love TRUE cockiness and confidence and usually those types of men aren't trying to impress anyone. I once told someone that it's sexy for a woman to have to peel the layers slowly, instead of them being leaked on her right off.

Alot of guys only think they know how to pleasure a woman. They use what they read in this or that book, or learned from friends, or repeat what they used on one woman for another. These techniques of theirs are all bullshit. Not saying that some aren't right, but every woman is different and loves different things....so you have to test quite a few in order to know what to do. Even then you will waste alot of time with trial and error. The important thing is to pay attention to your partner and their reactions to your touch. This is the way to pleasure. Nothing is worse than having some dry fingers shoved up into you or someone who is wanting pleasure but not really paying attention enough to give it in return. If you take the time to break someone in the right way and get them excited in your presence they will most likely fulfill any pleasure you both desire.

I love the art of the tease...as long as the pleasing comes soon thereafter LOL. Sure some woman may love to be pryed and rammed right off...and with the right person I would too. But I have to be turned on by that other person first. Some talking and teasing and flirting is the best way to approach me...and I think most women I know feel the same way. I love to be touched and rubbed down...caressing all of my sweet spots. I won't say what these spots are because that is for those are most intimate with me to know. But my reaction to this sends me through the roof and gets me ready for about anything that we decide to share. I hate a guy who eats my pussy with his eyes closed and doesn't pay attention to where he is touching it. I have had guys doing that and me have to move my pelvis to even get them to hit the right spot. (I still move my pelvis, but more to enhance than to guide hopefully LOL) Many have heard or know about the G-Spot, but there is a groove inside directly connected to it that travels the whole length of the vagina. Pay attention to what you are doing...and ask questions if you have to LOL...maybe you can find that groove. Tasting the clit lightly is always nice. It irritates me for anyone to constantly suck on the lips as if there is no other part present to arouse. Love all of the pussy...and you will definitely be rewarded.

I love being felt up and licked and touched all over so that I am soaked before any penetration by finger or cock (or otherwise) even starts. Feeling your body heat, the sound of your voice in her ear and your breath on her body, the pressure of your touch...you can't imagine how hot, tight, and wet a female can get if she is deeply aroused the right way. I have cum without touch, but once something is inserted I can about orgasm before it's all the way inside of me also. It always pays off to get a woman nice and ready. Spit and lube are okay I guess...but nothing beats the naturally slick, gooey juices of a woman. Once she is excited her vagina is much more elastic also and she can take more of the ramming you wanted to do in the first place then.

It surprises me that so many women have never had an orgasm. But then again alot of men don't take the time to know their bodies. It is also ridiculous that so many women don't take the time to know their own bodies. It's labeled as taboo or they think it's icky to touch themselves or even talk about it. WHY? It's your body...and you should have no problem with that if you are going to take the time to open your legs to someone. Which is worse? Just laying there taking what is given to you?...or teaching your partner what you like so that you can both explore each other? You take your pick...I choose the latter. I know what I like and with the right person I could probably learn a few extra things lol... Step out of the box...and teach someone to grind into yours.

~Drenched In Sweat~

2009-07-18T11:53:00.011-04:00

In school science we were taught that there are 4 elements...Earth, Fire, Air, and Water. These are meant to explain the most simple principals of which everything on Earth consists of. In ancient beliefs they explain the very cycles of nature. In Hindu, Greek, and Japanese beliefs, there are 5...Earth, Fire, Air, Water, and Space/Void. The 5th element, Space or Void, was added to explain any substances that existed outside of Earth. In Buddhism, the first 4 elements are viewed as material substances...and space is viewed, not as a substance, but as a sensory experience. According to Hinduism, the body is made up of these 5 elements, and once dead it dissolves back into these very elements again, completing the cycle of nature. It is also believed that the Earthly 4 combined can create the Sensory Perception of the 5th one. These elements are also believed to be connected to the 5 senses. Earth is accessible to all of the senses, Water can't be smelled but can be tasted, Fire is associated with sight, Air is heard or felt, and Space is a medium of sound but can't be reached by any of the senses.

The diagram above shows the relation of the elements to one another. On the outside edges you see the characteristics of each. In the middle square is space or void. Really the basic 4 are just material elements...meant in Buddhism to relate to qualities of the senses...earth/solidity, water/fluidity, fire/temperature, and air/mobility. It is meant to have you think of how each is sensed or perceived, rather than just it's material existence. The zodiac signs are divided into the 4 Earthly elements: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius are fire signs, Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are earth signs, Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are air signs, and Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces are water signs. This sometimes is thought to have something to do with why you like a certain feeling of one element over another.

Where am I going with all of this? Really I don't mean to bore you or give you school lessons, LOL....but today I have been thinking about my favorite element, WATER. Even though I love the breeze or wind immensely, water is by far my favorite. I think maybe I can explain my love for hot baths and steambathing also...which is really a connection with water and fire/heat...

I'm a Virgo...and really I am a TRUE Virgo, but a lenient one in comparison to my chart. This means that I almost fit every characteristic as explained by the zodiac but in a softer sense. Erase what is taught to you or what you have heard about compatible signs between 2 people, really most of that is horse shit and it has to do with each person individually. That is more meant as a general guide than a rule of sorts. Virgo is an Earth sign, and in the picture above it's seated in between Fire and Water, which combined make steam. It is seated straight across the Space/Void from Air...which means my connection to air/breeze or an Air sign alone could create a meditative state...

I have always loved to sweat and take hot baths. Water is very soothing and tends to put my body in a relaxed state. I can go swimming or soak in a hot bath for hours on end, until my skin is all wrinkly like a prune lol. Steam takes that to a whole other level for me. The intense heat combined with the sweat that eventually drips and runs all over my naked body calms me. Adding a cool splash of water...feeling the heat make my mind wander...watching the sweat glisten all over me...it's all kind of a sexual experience without the sex part. Many people don't stay in a sauna or steamroom long enough to experience it... I can hang in there for hours on end, until I am so relaxed that all I want to do is lay back, cuddle, and maybe even sleep. Sex is really more of a mental experience than a physical one, but many just do it as an action and don't take the time to actually FEEL what is going on. Sex during or after putting your mind into this meditative state is awesome...the grinding bodies in the heat as they sweat puts the brain into overload.

Remember when I said that the 4 Earthly elements combined make the 5th sensory element of space? I can't help but to think that my experience at Ten Thousand Waves compares to this feeling of Nirvana. Me being the earth...with fire/heat and water being the steambath or soak in the hot tub, along with it being open to the outside with a cool mountain breeze....it puts me in a sort of stupor. It's like another world, where you aren't interrupted in the least for any reason. Having another open minded individual take part would be an amazing and very enlightening experience for us both. But for now I am happy to go alone at least...and enter my world of relaxation. Most haven't REALLY relaxed, until they have REALLY had a chance to get totally away from the rat race and TRULY connect with their own mind. In essence if they never connect with their own mind, do they ever truly connect with another?

Where Do You Go?

2009-07-17T20:59:00.005-04:00

The favorite activities of people are very interesting to me. Everyone has their things that they like to do for fun or relaxation. What is your favorite activity? I got thinking about this...and why people pick certain places to visit over others. Some like to gamble, some like partying, some like the outdoors and exercise....for me, I'm big into relaxation and meditation when I can get away. What I call the rat race can get tiring sometimes, and when I can, I like to get away from it all. My favorite places help me go to another world where time means nothing and I can connect with nature, myself quietly, and maybe with someone of good company.

There is a bathhouse that I got introduced to...it's perfect for getting away if even for a few hours. It's called the Schvitz (http://oakleafbroom.com), which means "sweat" in Yiddish. The Schvitz has been open since before 1930, not sure of the exact year. It's in an old Jewish neighborhood of Detroit. You would never know what it was just in passing, but those who make a habit of going would never miss it. The building itself is nothing special...inside or outside really. But the history of the place makes it worth visiting. Lots of members of the Jewish and Russian communities visited, and alot of them still do. It was also the hangout of lots of gangsters, including Al Capone and John Dilinger....but was known as the primary hangout of the notorious Purple Gang, a Jewish gang from the very neighborhood where it stands. On Fridays and Saturdays only couples can enter, and some get frisky if they choose, which causes the known "swinging" stories...but technically it is not a swingers' joint.

It is well known in Detroit, but I found out many think of it as an urban legend of sorts. It isn't and is still in business. It's a 2 story building with a basement, and on the outside resembles maybe an old factory or similar. You walk into the front door and there are stairs to climb up to another door...where you ring a doorbell and someone buzzes you in. You walk in and pay your fee...and you are given a locker key to put your belongings in. At that point you can generally do as you please. There is a dining area for a great homecooked meal, massage area with tables, a movie room, jacuzzis inside and outside...but it's known for the steamroom. It's a marvelous room with wooden bleachers and you won't find any rocks sitting on top of an artificial oven. It's authentic...there is a pit filled with 8 tons of rocks...and the steam feels great!!! It's a perfect place to relax and soak in the atmosphere and history, as you sweat out the toxins. There is also a pool that is for cooling your body after you get too hot. You will find a guy in the steamroom doing Plaitzas, which is a massage in the hottest part of the room done with oakleaf brooms and soapy water, it's heavenly. There is a 3rd floor in case you want to see some of the couples have fun of their own...or in case you want to join or have your own fun, totally up to you. But I find that this part isn't necessary to enjoy the atmosphere of the place, it's truly a gem on its own.

Another place I love is in New Mexico. The state as a whole is very eccentric and charming. I visit there whenever I can and it's my favorite place if I had to choose one. It's another world and the people and places are on a different level from anywhere else I have been. No one worries about who you are or where you are from, you are welcomed no matter what. The scenery is wonderful and the lighting and colors are very vivid. The weather is also slightly different than I expected, not so hot as other places in the Southwest and very mild as a whole. I love to drive all over the area and soak in the culture and learn the history. They say it sucks you in or spits you out, and I thnk it has definitely sucked me in. Sometimes I think I was meant to live there.

Santa Fe is very charming and I love the small town charm and homeliness of it. The food is excellent and there is many places closeby to visit and wander around, including Taos, Espanola and many other pueblos and villages. If you drive past downtown some and head into the mountains...there is a spa called Ten Thousand Waves (http://tenthousandwaves.com). Whenever I visit the area it is a must visit place for me. I spend a day of relaxation and even if I don't take advantage of every amenity, just to visit is enough. It's nestled in the hills...and offers many spa treatments, facials, massages, etc...but worth going even if you just want to soak. They have many bath areas with heated tubs/jacuzzis, cold soak holes, and saunas...as well as lounge chairs seated on beautifully constructed decks of wood, and everything is opened to the outside air. They have a men's area, women's area, as well as a communal area for both if you're not shy or with a partner (no sexual stuff here)...and many different private areas if you so choose. When you walk in they give you a key and a kimono to wear...and send you to a locker room that also houses showers. It's my favorite place...totally...and would be wonderful if I could find someone worth going with me for intimate company as well as what I call comfortable silence...

I love to party and have fun just like the next person..but I guess that can only go so far for me. I host parties and sometimes my career requires going to parties and mingling and socializing, and it can get old for me. Sometimes my body craves quiet time, meditation, and intimacy on another level...and I have found that it's my favorite time to spend with myself or with someone worthy. Everyone has their own favorite places and for different reasons...but these are mine for the reasons I gave.

What are your favorite places and for what reasons? I would love to hear about it...

Connect The Dots (laaaa la)

2009-07-16T15:54:00.003-04:00

I can be very shy with new people...well let's not say shy...I will say guarded. I tend to observe more until I get to know them. Wanting to connect with them breaks me from my shell. I appreciate every connection I make with everyone. Each tends to be different and evolves into different relationships. It's wonderful how much you get to know about someone when you are not judging or approaching with ulterior motives. That is also a way to connect that is more genuine and sincere. If you are willing to share your true self, many people show you who they REALLY are. I have a peeve when some tell you what they think you want to hear and have a layer on top of their true selves. When they do that you always find out that they weren't the way they portrayed themselves to be. Fakeness and follies don't get you very far for too long.

The different connections made have been a blast and I enjoy getting to know people as a whole. All of the different senses of humor, nack for helping others, points of view, quirks, and interests (I could go on) are all golden. Each developed in its own way and everyone has a reason for the way they are, whether you like them or not. This world is full of closed, dark minds and those people really miss out on a great deal...some will never understand it.

Everyone crosses paths with another for a reason...some don't believe in past lives but who is to say we have never met before in a different situation. Or who is to say that we weren't meant to meet for a reason in the first place. Each is always different, whether for a minute, month, year, or a lifetime, it's a connection nevertheless and should be nurtured as such. Ever notice how sometimes you feel that you have known someone for a lifetime?...when in truth it has only been a few moments over coffee or a meal. Or how you can look into someone's eyes or hear their voice and totally see yourself and know you are both alot alike. As beings we don't just connect with each other, but if we pay attention we can feel one another's souls. I know many people that I would not have connected with had I not taken the time to and my life is richer for it.

I have buddies who I chat with online, flirt with,go to dinner with, and out to parties...and some who I may never meet. Some of these buddies I have become terrific friends with and couldn't do without. I have taught some to travel across the USA when they would have never left Detroit...and a friend who has now developed my love for socks and shoes when he never noticed it before LOL. Some have made me look deep inside myself and find things I may not have known before. Maybe I have made them look into themselves. Sometimes others make you realize things you liked, disliked, or yearned for...things that you would not have noticed had they not shoved it in your face. The world is our oyster, but not if we don't once in awhile step out of the box...and many of us don't tend to unless we have outside help.

For instance, I'll be the first to say I love flirting online but chatting sexually I never got into. Phone sex and texting sexually was never my thing either. As soon as it would go into a certain level I would roll my eyes behind the keyboard and say to myself "here we go again"...and add a few ooohhhs and aaahhs and mmmms and then cut it off LOL. Lately I have really been into it, and there wasn't a bit of hesitation on my part. I actually envisioned what was going on, got excited and egged it on LOL. To get wet, touch myself and orgasm over a few texts or a phone conversation was foreign to me until now and I have found that with the right person I can really get off on it! Just goes to show you that you can't even really say what you like until you have tried it, and even then maybe it just has to be with the right person.

Connections with others is important to our personal and spiritual growth as people on Earth. No man is an island. Can you get along by yourself? Maybe you can....but would you REALLY want to? What would our lives be like if we never developed relationships with other people? I don't know but I can say I would feel pretty empty. As beings we all crave contact and spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically our lives are much better for it. I thrive on connections and wouldn't have it any other way. Even the bad ones teach me more about myself and I am thankful for every one.

I Think...Therefore I Am...

2009-07-10T01:23:00.007-04:00

There was a comment made by Jesse Ventura once...he said "Organized Religion is for the weak of mind."...I guess maybe I wouldn't say it as blatant as that. To me, it depends on the specific person and how they approach things. I watch some people judge others and their beliefs, but when you say or ask them things their first action is to repeat Bible verses or to ask if you go to Church. Some seem to just spout what they were taught instead of thinking for themselves. It's almost kind of a robotic behavior as if brainwashed in some way. Really the relationship that I or anyone else has with God is no one else's business. Finding our spirituality goes deeper than just to attend church. Some people take it upon themselves to try to convert others to their way of thinking and it's bothersome. Everyone should search their own truth and not just always accept what is said or taught to them. Really they should use what they are taught, to seek their own truth. They also should not by any means push what they believe or was taught onto others. As Rene Descartes said, "I think therefore I am."

In theory, I am writing this because many people claim to know God better than others. They feel because they read the Bible and memorize its verses, because they go to Church regularly...that they are held holier than others. Some denounce other religions that aren't their own. Some end up too concerned with Judgement Day, preaching about salvation, and getting others to think the way they think. These people don't stop to think how their lectures make others feel. Would they want to be treated this way? The Bible is taken too literally, when it is made as a spiritual guide. Even then the most popular one, the King James version, has many missing parts and was edited by one of the most violent kings on Earth. We all come from different backgrounds and speak different languages...yet we are created from the same cloth, made in his image. Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and more, they all speak of the SAME God, no matter what he is called.

If you look at history, there was a great deal of politics connected to the development of Christianity. The resurrestion of Christ in itself served a political purpose. Many believe that Jesus will come to save us and they hold him as a distinct being apart from humanity. Christ coming back to life, which in essence is impossible. What makes more sense is us meeting him on a spiritual level.Our salvation comes from knowing God...but to know God is to know oneself. To me, our savior is in our own spiritual understanding. Many await his arrival and worry about their salvation and whether they will be saved. Why should anyone save us, when we have the ability to save ourselves, all we have to do is walk with God.

Why do we need religious principles and rules to tell us what is right or wrong, what to do and how to act? We know within ourselves already...and feel this in our brains and in our hearts. I believe that these things, intuition and conscience are truly God speaking to us. We all feel it when we are about to do wrong, and have true regret when wrong is done...we also feel pride when we know we have done right. Only those that are truly dark live outside of these feelings and don't wonder if they are doing the right thing and have no regret when they are wrong.

We are all God's children, made from his image, and have him inside of us. Instead of trying to find a savior to save you, look within you and try to save yourself. This life is a learning experience....and God has no reason to save us from it. In essence, after we are done here learning, I believe all of us will be returned to his presence. This life is only temporary, and if any soul was perfect he/she wouldn't have a reason to be here because there would be no learning needed...I see God in every other creature on this planet, and being made from him, they deserve my respect, no matter what they have done in their lives. "Treat others how you would like to be treated"...this statement goes deeper than opening doors for others or saying thank you or excuse me. Why should someone else be condemned because they don't think the way you think? No one wants that to be done to them, and I don't understand why some do it. At the end of the day I don't want to look at God knowing I have disrespected and condemned one of his children for their beliefs. He is in all of us and when we look at one another, instead of judging, we should try to find the God in them...treat them as if he is standing there watching...and then we wouldn't have to "worry" about our salvation.

What Is Your Legacy?

2009-07-02T23:50:00.003-04:00

We had a few icons of our time die this month....Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, Karl Malden...and it makes us think of our own mortality. These are people we all felt connected to in some way...and probably never thought about them passing on. Even though we all know that we will all die, their deaths shocked us. Too lose so much talent and humanity is sad, and to lose them so close together makes it that much worse. They will forever be remembered. God bless them and their families.

Their deaths got me to thinking of my own legacy and how I will be remembered once I am gone. Actually I had thought about this subject before when my own dad died. He lived a very abrasive hard life and it made him a hard man to love...yet many looked up to him anyway. Many people also hated his guts...and I always told myself that I didn't want to die like that. I would never want to be remembered for hurting anyone or making them feel less of a person. I try everyday to make someone feel special because that is how people remember you; the way you make them feel. You could do hundreds of good things for someone, but the moment you make them feel less of a person, you took back all of those good things you did. They no longer matter to them...

I remember one day I went to put gas in my car....and as I was leaving there was a lady at the pump next to me. She seemed to make sure that she made eye contact with me and I gave her a smile. As I put the pump into the tank she came up to me. She asked me how it felt to be so thin. It was a strange question...so I asked her what she meant. She said that she had always been a bigger lady, and dieting had never worked. That I was beautiful and she had always wished she was as small as I was. At that point I felt sorry for her...to be so preoccupied with her weight....and I had to think of what to say. I asked her if I could give her a hug, and she obliged...and I whispered into her ear as I embraced her. I told her I wished I could keep some weight on me. I said to her...we never think we are as beautiful as we are, but we all have our own beauty. It's not only about the outside, but the inside counts quite a bit. When you take pride in sharing yourself and your story...and making someone else feel special...that makes you beautiful. When I let her go, I looked into her eyes, and told her that I will always remember her...and she cried and thanked me.

People get caught up in too many artifical things. They judge too much and make too many generalizations about others. They are worried about how they look to others and how much money they have. Even the religious think way too hard about their own salvation and where they will go when they die. But if you think about it...if you live your life for others, you will always be here. It's important to connect and make others feel good about who they are. Many people will remember you and miss you and you will be in their hearts forever.

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I Touch Myself...

2009-07-02T22:55:00.004-04:00

I love to touch myself. Yes I love to masturbate and I do pretty often. I use it to relax, to sleep, and to unwind after a bad day. Sometimes I sneak away when I'm having thoughts about sex or flirting online with people...it only takes a few minutes. I know exactly where to touch me and how to do it....and have mastered the art of bringing myself to orgasm. Of course I miss some days, but for the most part I do it a few times daily. I like to have an orgasm at least once in the morning and once at night. My favorite time for sex is in the morning, not sure why. It's like you have all night to dream and think about sex, and there is a build-up, then you can release it in the morning. It revives you and gets you going and ready for action. But this entry about touching myself isn't just about masturbation.

I also like to touch myself in other ways. Running my fingers all over, caressing my nipples, and touching the curve of my waist....etc. I generally love my own body shape. I like the way I smell and look and the way my clothes fit me. I often slyly touch myself whether others are around or not...without them ever knowing or seeing. I kind of get a kick out of the fact that the girl in the grocery didn't see me cup my breast...or that the guy next to me at the light caught the ass end of me pinching my nipple in the car. I have rubbed my pussy while driving without anyone knowing a thing. I love the feeling of myself stretching and it's a big reason I do yoga. I guess working out does give me some sexual arousal and gets my endorphines pumping in a crazy way. I love to sweat, and frequently love to visit steamrooms so that I can watch the sweat pour over my naked, glistening body...

My favorite body parts are my pussy and my feet. People equate pussy to fish and not sure why...they must have gotten hold of some rotten diseased nasty pussy....it's smell is actually very nice and mild. I actually love my smell. When I go to the bathroom (which I do VERY often), I like to look at my pussy...the way it sits on my pelvis...and the shape of the "V" where it sits in between my thighs. I love to shave it nice because to see the creases in the area is very sexy to me...and makes it look even tighter than it is, if that is possible. Nothing is like a pretty pussy peeking at you from behind, almost like it's waiting to be licked. Not sure if it's a natural thing, but I often wonder if other women like their pussy as much as I like mine...oh well who cares lol.

I know people have a thing about feet being gross, but I don't think many give them half of a chance. They too have a unique smell...but if clean it's nothing like the funky corn chips people talk about lol. The curve of the arch, the softness of the skin, and the shape of the toes are all very sexy to me. I hate to see people, women especially, with dry heels...and I wonder how they let their feet get like that. Maybe I am just looking too hard, but I take pride in the look and smell and feel of my feet. I spend a great deal of time pampering them...and it turns me on to give myself a pedicure. I told my nail lady that once and she giggled....and I giggled with her...but I was serious lol.

Maybe you think it's silly...oh well, I don't really care. I know every inch of my body and not afraid to say so. It's the best way to tell or teach someone else to touch me and I have a very fulfilling sex life because of it. I think that I started to like women at the point when I became totally comfortable with my own body. I often use my own body as a guide and wonder if they do some of the things that I do. I pay attention to every feeling, curve, smell, inkling that my body has. It IS my body after all...lol...and I should be able to touch it as I please.

Feel The Breeze...

2009-06-29T01:02:00.003-04:00

Of the passions that I have already discussed, writing comes right after food. Or maybe they are a close tie for first. I have always been a big reader and loved learning new things. I started writing in Jr High...mainly poetry back then. It was a way for me to escape and feel like I was getting away. Every book I read usually gave me inspiration for a poem, which some I still have written in a journal that is stored in my home library.

After Jr High School we moved to a different place...and my first 2 years of High School were very difficult for me. I was different from the rest of the kids at school, and they reminded me of it every day with names and jokes about stereotypes. I really had no friends and no one to communicate with and it was a very lonely time for me. During my 11th grade year I took Literature...and immediately loved my teacher. She let me know that it was okay to show who I was inside and out. She helped me to release tension through my writing and helped me polish quite a few skills. She was a dear friend to me and I usually ate lunch with her in the school library or in her class since it was better than sitting in the cafeteria alone and listening to the other kids.

She is the reason that I appreciate the breeze that I talk about so much. Let me explain. One of our assignments was to interpret a few intangible things and write how they make us feel and what they may look like. The other kids hated the exercise...but I loved the challenge. I got Silence and Breeze. I did Silence during class and even though a challenge, it poured out of me as soon as my pen hit the paper...that was just me. I wasn't much of a talker...so I guess it was kind of like I talked to the paper. I got to do Breeze when I got home. My trek home was always difficult and I usually didn't have much free time once I got there. I had to watch my little sisters until our bedtime since mom worked 2nd shift. But I found the perfect time for the homework while my sisters were out playing. Near our house we had a bunch of rolling hills and the scenery was always nice. I went outside and positioned myself on my back, on top of one of the hills...and I just felt the breeze. I etched in my memory every feeling I had and how the breeze smelled and what I thought it reminded me of if I had to envision it. I fell in love with the breeze that day...as it blew over me. It was soft on my skin and smelled like pine and soft flowers. Something that to this day relaxes me and I savor every breeze I feel now.

I never thought I would ever run into my teacher after I graduated high school. It's funny how things happen though. I always wanted to thank her and didn't think that I would have that chance. But like anything else, there is a reason for everything. Years later....by chance we got a deal on a house....the one I live in now. 3 years ago as we were moving things in we noticed our new neighbor on her porch with a friend. Her best friend happens to be my old Literature teacher. I couldn't control my tears when I saw her and poured my heart out to her. I was happy to see her. She will always be ingrained into my memory as a person who helped me get through a tough time. But she will also be remembered by me as a friend who encouraged me to share myself as well as my talent and love for writing....

The Delightful Dick

2009-06-28T13:53:00.011-04:00

I already did an entry about Pussy Power...and now it's time to talk about the Delightful Dick! Just as women can have a power over men, the opposite can surely be true. Men have had a control over women for centuries of course...and not just talking about physical control. Why do you think that women take the time to dress or act a certain way? All of the mini skirts and the lipstick and push up bras...all to attract the opposite sex. It may seem like men are easier to catch than women....okay maybe they are lol...but a woman can also be controlled by the idea of a delightful dick.

The word "dick" itself is a very cocky, masculine word. The word penis sounds sooo....pussywhipped and whimpy lol. Dick is defined as the "slang" or "vulgar" word for a penis...when in actuality, I like it better than penis. It's more upfront and I don't think it's vulgar at all. To be honest, I may use penis in conversation so that I don't offend anyone, but I like using dick better. It's also better than some other words for penis....like willy, schlong, whippersnapper or johnson. I can also say I have a thing for the word cock too...another good word for it. The word "dick" itself has a few other meanings...

Dick (film)
The Dicks, a musical group
Democratic Indira Congress (Karunakaran), a political party
Detective, a type of investigator

Even though women usually look deeper than looks, everyone likes to have what everyone else has or wants. It's true that the hot guys can get a girl to do what they want easily...but it isn't truly about them being hot. It's about his aura. It's about the illusion that he is popular and wanted by everyone and sometimes his cockiness can feed that illusion. When someone is confident and appears not to really care if they get one's attention, it makes them that much more attractive. Sometimes if a woman gets too much attention she feels hounded, because she is used to getting it to a certain degree. I guess I'm saying being more of a "dick" can get you the girl lol. Not to say that all of this attention is from a girl that is worthy...I mean we have seen how some fawn....not attractive at all. Some people will be with anyone...

All of the opening lines about how big your dick is and what you can do in bed are meaningless to most women. Even though it goes deeper than looks, looks still play a part. I can't deny that I love watching men undress....or I love the look of the back of a man's neck. That area from the navel down to the area where the pubic hair starts...mmm it's awesome...not to mention how it looks from the other side lol. The way he moves, touches you, and more important the way he talks to you. I love it all. Yes I am attracted to women too, no doubt about it....but that doesn't compare to a man for me. In the end, when I wake up at night or in the morning and want some attention...I hope it's a dick in my bed to give it to me lol.

~I See Beauty~

2009-06-20T15:58:00.005-04:00

I love to people watch. This is one of the reasons that I love to go out walking and running. I don't necessarily go to the mall to shop, but to see the different people all in one place. The different heights and weights and colors and gestures and voices.... If they knew I was watching them so close, they may get self conscious, so I do it on the sly, without them knowing. You may say sneaky...but I admire all of God's work, and don't necessarily judge, but just observe.

I love people, and even though I am basically shy, REAL people bring me out of my shell. I love the interaction and ability to try to understand everyone and why they do things they do. I think it is a big reason I love psychology, and it is a reason that I am a courtesan, and find ways to deal with people in many different situations. I never understood the need of some people to judge others, I guess we all do it at some point...but we all have reasons for why we are the way we are and no one is perfection. I never down anyone or persecute them though, it is their choice to act as they do, and not for me to judge at all. I live totally by the words "treat others at you want to be treated"...and it helps people open up to me in amazing ways.

This Earth is full of darkness, and it is up to us to find the light in us and let it shine onto others. But if we don't find the love in ourselves, we can't possibly pass it on. I am very observant and pay attention to even the smallest gesture. I love watching how people move and the shapes of their faces and bodies....God made us all beautiful. Every curve of every pelvis...every hair on our heads (or lack thereof hehehe)...every stride of every step...how we dress and undress (love that part)...every tone of every voice....every look in every eye...we are masterpieces through and through. I can't help but to imagine every person in their most proud moment, or what they look like nakey (hehehe), or what they looked like as children. I also imagine children in 20 years when they have fully grown... We are all beautiful in our own way. I learned early on to appreciate the mind, soul, and body that was given to me. It took time, but every feature eventually has been appreciated. I see many members of my family in me, and I celebrate every feature. I wish more could do the same for themselves, but even if they can't, I appreciate their beauty and hopefully can help them to appreciate it more too.
----------------------------------------------------

I SEE BEAUTY (a poem)

I love myself
When I look into the mirror
I see beauty
From my long, silky mane to my perfectly arched feet
Even in the warm place where my smooth, sweet thighs meet
I see beauty
When I get into the shower and let the water run down my body I feel every curve from my hip right down to my heel and
I love myself
When I step into church in the flyest attire and give number one praises to my Heavenly Sire
I love that I see beauty in myself
The Lord has instilled in me a glow that goes from the top of my head to the tips of my toes so when I walk into a room everyone there knows
I love that I see beauty

Dancing To A Different Beat...

2009-06-20T15:29:00.004-04:00

Earlier I posted about my relationship with food...well, music is another passion of mine. I spent a lot of time with older members of my family growing up, so it started early for me. Old jingles and themes from TV shows, choir practice at church...blues, gospel, rock & roll (what it meant back then), classical, it goes on and on and on. I could listen to about everything. I always thought about what the writer of the song was thinking or feeling as he wrote the song.

My love of music led me to wanting to play instruments and dance. I loved to challenge myself to try new dances...my favorites being ballet and the paso doble. To feel my body move like it did, the muscles stretching and feeling the melody and beat, is almost like a sexual thing. Many can't get themselves in the mode to feel it that deep and just move to the music. You know and can tell when someone actually feels it. It's the same thing when you are sexually involved with someone, some just go through the motions, and some actually put their heart into it.

Music brings people together and can be a powerful thing. Every song has a story, whether you care for that type of music or not. If we took the time to understand certain songs, we could become more open to people as a whole... We all have things in common. Let's put on a song and concentrate on that, instead of wasting time passing judgements on one another. I know most of us know the Brady bunch Theme by now...LOL.

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Remember When...

2009-06-20T14:42:00.003-04:00

I was feeling quite nostalgic yesterday...and it happens sometimes. I'm sure we all get like that once in awhile....and it can be triggered by different things. A certain song, a day with a certain kind of weather, a certain food, the words of a certain person...all can make us remember things from our past, whether a day, a year, or a decade before. Our memories and things that have happened before, is what helps to form us, make us whole, and teach us things about ourselves. If we don't remember and learn to accept our past, we are letting go of ourselves and blocking what could actually help us to build a better life for us, and those around us.

I look at the things I love today and I can totally see where I get most of my feelings and quirks from. It makes me feel good to know that my cooking, and love of food came from my grandmother. Sitting in her kitchen as a child, and watching her prepare and cook...she loved it, and so did it. To watch the family and their friends flock to her house to have a taste...because they knew that everyday there would be a different aroma to smell and a different dish to try. My love of music came from many members of my family, but mostly my dad. He was a prodigy of sorts when it came to music, and it was his true love I think. He was hardened and abrasive, but music calmed him. I don't have many good memories of him at all...but I remember when he got a new Walkman, he left the old one at his mother's for me. It was probably the only gift he ever gave me, besides a paper Burger King crown for Christmas and the love of music and instruments. He is also the reason I love thunderstorms...I would sneak out on the porch and find him just sitting...and I would slide onto the stairs and quietly watch with him, so that I wouldn't disturb his thoughts. Of all of the bad things from early on...I was never taught to be ashamed of anything I did or felt. My mom's mom taught me that God made me as I am for a reason, and she never condemned or punished me for anything I ever did. She was different compared to the other Bible toting church people I knew and always made sure we felt good about ourselves. I remember her catching me, late one night, with the TV on Showtime, watching Lady Chatterly's Lover...lol... Instead of yelling at me and making me go to bed, she just said "You are finally growing up."....and went back to bed. I learned to masturbate soon after that...and that is why right now sexually, I know exactly who I am and what I like, and find new things every day. I had no idea about dildoes or toys, not even sure what kinds were available then...but my finger and sometimes a curling iron were good enough lol. I remember thinking there was something wrong with me when I had my first orgasm....but it felt good enough that I did it again, and again, and again lol.

Who knows why we remember certain things....but there is a reason that they are engraved on our soul. They are part of us, of why we are, and of what we will be.

~Hunger~

2009-06-14T18:16:00.004-04:00

I have no idea where I got it from or when it started....but my relationship with food is just as sexual as many of the escapades that I have seen myself involved in. To be totally honest, many of those escapades included food! LOL... The relationships between food and sex intertwine inside my head...swimming and molding together. When I need to mess around, I also get hungry...and my stomach growls during sex. I have always loved food, but when did the sexual aspect start? I don't know. Is it just me? I have never heard of anyone mentioning it past the "food is as good as sex" comment. Is that what the author of that was talking about?

Just to think of the textures and colors drive me crazy....then you get to how it actually feels on your lips and tongue, and swirling around in your mouth. Sounds kind of like you're French kissing it huh? When the smell of nourishment takes you over....you know you have to look and then taste. I always savor every bite. Let the tastes and feelings linger as long as I can stand. It's always over too quickly....and you can't wait until your next time.

Now just that act of having a meal is enough to get you going...but add good company to the equation and the senses can go through the roof! Sitting across from someone, and awaiting the arrival of the meal on the plates. Admiring the smells from the kitchen as you concentrate on the stimulating conversation....watching each other's movements and enjoying their aura.

Put this situation in a private setting and it can be all the more tittilating. The ultimate setting for me is 2 people who really enjoy one another, in private, one cooking for the other... Nothing feels like knowing someone wants to share one of their most intimate moments, the nourishment of their bodies. To both cook makes it even more great. To share the meal naked is sexy too hehehe....but really, dressed is fine, you can unpeel the clothes from yourselves or each other later after your tummy is full. It's kind of like sharing our carnal needs...2 at a time....it's brain overload for me!

Next time you have a meal...REALLY enjoy it. Take the time to pay attention to every detail of it. See if it triggers anything with you or your senses. Maybe is IS just me, but then again, maybe it isn't...we should enjoy our relationship with food. Some of us on this Earth don't get that chance.

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Stepping Back Into Reality~

2009-06-14T17:22:00.002-04:00

I was never a big TV watcher. Usually mostly to see the news or weather and maybe some Law & Order or CSI. I would also turn it on music while cleaning...but now I have discovered reality TV. I know I am quite a late bloomer as my sister has told me, lol. Oh well so be it. It's amazing to me how easy it is for some to put their privacy on the line for money, a chance at love, or sometimes for no reason at all. After a few shows they all become very predictable and some boring.

I have begun to really like Sundance! Maybe I am becoming a true nerd (always been anyway) but I have started to like anything quirky that may not make much sense...maybe it gives me something to try to figure out and keeps me busy lol. I usually reject the mainstream and if everyone else is watching, that is a good clue that I may not have seen it yet. I tend to ride the wave until everyone else is done.

Back to the Travel Channel to see if there is anywhere I want to go, lol...any ideas?

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Climbing The Walls... (repost from April by request)

2009-06-14T17:10:00.002-04:00

UGH! Being sick is for the birds! Actually I would never wish it on anyone, let alone the innocent birds, lol. I have been stuck in the house for awhile getting plenty of rest and fluids...you know, the boring stuff. No one wants to touch me, stuck doing that myself. I got sick before I could replace one of my favorite toys that broke. Actually it didn't break, the charger to it did...which is worse. I have to stare at it knowing that I can do nothing with it. GUURRREEAATT! Finger it is....5 times last night, 1 this morning, snuck 1 as I cancelled my Pittsburgh trip, and I'm sure a few tonight after I log off. The Diddle Fairies were trying to stop me last night. Like I said before my fave toy is not available...so I figure the finger and lounge back and surf for some porn. Internet decides to start working at a snails pace....sighs...here we go. FORGET IT! Pop in a DVD. FINALLY success! GEEZ! Imagine all of this as I sniffle and cough. I just wanted to get rid of this headache. Tomorrow no matter how I feel I'm going to get a new toy...

Climbing the Walls...The Sequel

2009-06-14T17:00:00.002-04:00

I don't know if it's an age thing or not....but lately I have been insatiable. I think it's all of the flirting and chatting online maybe. I have a couple people who I chat with who have the ability to get me worked up into a frenzy. I love the anticipation that builds chatting before appointments and it has fueled my adrenaline many times for diddling before bed, hehehe. I have been diddling a few times before bed and a few in the morning. Just when I think I was done, I need to do it again. I can't say I'm a nympho. I don't NEED it and can go without. But why? My hand is right here within reach of my pussy! LOL. I have a certain guy who gets me going in the morning. He loves to tease me and we always think of a few scenarios to use for the next meeting. I feel more sorry for him being in an office and walking around with that woody that I know he has as we chat, LOL. But that just turns me on more and makes me wish I lived where he does, LOL. I often wish I had a regular playtoy that I could call....LOL like a mindless action figure to come when I call and leave after so I can sleep or go on with my day, LOL.
Naaaaa....I love men too much.

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Common Denominators

2009-06-07T18:19:00.002-04:00

I was chatting with my buddy from Boston again....lol....yea that happens alot. We got to talking about how people meet and get along and what makes people who may never meet, end up laughing together. What makes people who seem to have nothing in common, end up being good friends? Really if you think about it, it's not too complicated. When your heart is pure and open...and when you respect everyone as people, even if you don't know them...there is nothing to explain.

Work, family, neighborhood, school, the list can go on and on. The most common denominators are the easiest to use as a connection with the next person. Food is a great one also. My friend told me how he goes to a certain meat market. How the same people go the same day of the week and how the same people are there every time he goes on Sunday. How they laugh and trade recipes for the meat they are buying...

If people look and see....you have more in common with the next person than you think. We are all the same but very different. Taking the time to inquire before judging...listening before talking...it can make us more open to others, and more willing to get to know them. I would hope that the people who meet me, treat me as good as I try to treat them.

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Pussy Power...!

2009-06-07T18:08:00.003-04:00

I love to chat and that has filled some of my days so that I don't feel totally useless. As a matter of fact, I was chatting with a friend from Boston and we were talking about the word "pussy". How I love that word. I know it bothers some...but not me. I am one with mine, lol...and to me pussy sounds a bit better than saying vagina lol. It surprises me how much it bugs some people but I guess I can understand it. It does sound brash in the normal frame of conversation and probably isn’t brought up in a social setting too much.

The origin itself is unknown…but it is a form of many different words and is connected to many different languages throughout the years.

Puss (pocket)--Old Norse
Puse (vulva)--Old Saxon
Pusa (bag)----Old English
Pucelle (teen girl or virgin)--Medieval French
Pusillanimous (lack of courage)--Latin words
Pursy (push/thrust)--Old French…pronounced with a short u and silent or slurred r

I rather like the word and think it’s rather more smooth sounding than some others that can be used with the same meaning. I wish that all pussies were as pretty as the word. I have seen some that don’t deserve to be called a pussy and surprised me they were attached to a human being. I know a couple girls who have one that looks like it’s crawling out of them, lol. I’m glad I came out with a rather nice one, but then again maybe someone else would say mine is ugly. Who cares I like it and get many compliments on it. I also highly prefer it to walking around with a snake attached to the front of my pelvis….sorry guys. Even though I wonder what it feels like to slide a dick into one….I will deal with it the other way around (oh what a chore, lol, j/k) just to say I have a pussy. Pussy Power is an amazing thing….I have seen grown men do weird and crazy things for it. It can't always have something to do with who it is attached to....and I won't get into that. I mean, what do you think it is about Pussy that is so amazing?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pussy

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From A Mother To Her Daughter...A Poem

2009-06-02T17:15:00.002-04:00

From a Mother ( to her daughter)

My spiritual capabilites astound me, myself, I never thought that I could care this much about somebody else. I'm trying to exose my feelings, bringing out what's deep within me. Molding another personality, a new persona; a child, a girl, then a woman. Making sure that her feelings for herself exceed those for any other except her seeds. Just as I must do for she, faithfully, my whole life long. Care for her, nurture her, and do the best I can to shelter her from all that is wrong with this Earth. My tinist resemblance, a replica; mimicking all of the good from me and ignorant of all the bad. May her achievements be mine times ten (or twenty), transcending all others, no matter what situation she may be in. Forming her is changing me, for the better; letting me know that I have a purpose here, on this Earth.

My love, my heart, my little one, challenge me in ways that I may never know again. We're in this together, through all good or bad weather, forever, on this Earth and beyond. May your heart fill up and spill over with the unconditional love that is overflowing from mine. Never knowing my bad side; showing me perfection in my own mind. I will never know what could have become of me had you not come along and turned a mistake into some kind of beautiful song that will eternally be worth singing. A mistake that was worth making and learning from. Molding another personality, a new persona; a child, a girl, then a woman. Forming you is changing my life, on this Earth, forever.

I wrote this when I was pregnant...and it will be given to my daughter when she has the capacity to understand it...getting pregnant by her changed me in many ways for the good...

Haiku & Short Poems...

2009-06-02T17:06:00.002-04:00

The Imagination

Sparks twinkle from the top of my head.
Quietly taking over me.
Every thought is a constellation,
filling my brain matter with space;
infinitely expanding.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Second Impression ( a haiku)

Stare into my eyes
Now you like what you see but
Can you handle it?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Holy Matrimony (a haiku)

Share yourself with me
Let's blend together us two
Perfect unity

The Spoken Word

2009-06-02T16:35:00.007-04:00

As I said I loved doing spoken word....every Tuesday at a cafe in Toledo, OH.
It became a great outlet for me to release anger and frustration and joy. Here are a few favorites.

Words

Words are more powerful than any force, blasting from this mouth to that ear, marinading deep within ourselves; making my internal emotions cause cerebral commotion. Words gathering surges of energy, emitting static electricity, generating heat in the wintertime and dry coldness in the summer. Some words shiver up and down your spine and some have meaning too difficult to define; making my brain more dense, ejecting the high from any other substance. Many travel in time from book to book, page to page, male to female, regardless of age. The building blocks of education and the first step down the road to knowledge, words hang out in the essence of every sentence you ever said, wrote, thought, or otherwise; whether it was the truth or whether it was lies. When you feel disappointment and despise, words put comfort in your eyes; taming your mind frame, engulfing you like a flame. Words will never die, just multiply through every aspect of our lives, preparing us for this educational revolution. Plowing through every problem with a solution; because when you use your words wisely, no battle is worth losing.

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I See Beauty

I love myself
When I look into the mirror
I see beauty
From my long, silky mane to my perfectly arched feet
Even in the warm place where my smooth, sweet thighs meet
I see beauty
When I get into the shower and let the water run down my body I feel every curve from my hip right down to my heel and
I love myself
When I step into church in the flyest attire and give number one praises to my Heavenly Sire
I love that I see beauty in myself
The Lord has instilled in me a glow that goes from the top of my head to the tips of my toes so when I walk into a room everyone there knows
I love that I see beauty
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The Spoken Word

Knowledge, find it, flow it, show it, spreading like cancer.
Fear can really scare you 'less you put it on paper.
My pen paints a masterpiece wrapped up in my stanzas.
Every emotion I behold poured out on my canvas.

Serenades cascading from my funky cerebrum.
Trickle down my brain stem and then beat in my eardrum.
They roll out of my throat and off my tongue as I write them.
When the music hits you, then you're hooked, and you want some.

Words

2009-06-02T15:32:00.003-04:00

Someone asked me to post some of my poetry today....I planned to before and now is as good a time as any! I write during different times in my life and it's kind of like a release. So I am going to share some of my writing...
Some are for fun, and some deeper than deep, but each means something to me.
Writing cleanses my soul and even sometimes is better than finding someone to listen to my ranting. Getting it out on paper and reading it myself...it's always good to see where your mind is that way. Easier to visualize and put your mind around things that are in front of you. Everyone is good listeners when they are reading. Sounds go in one ear and out of the other too often. If you are not entertaining someone, they are less likely to want to give you their attention. Spoken word poetry became a way for me to make them listen, without them knowing they were even putting in that effort.

I sometimes keep things inside. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Most of what I write is kept to myself. Not sure if I am afraid someone won't like it or what. Sometimes emotions are hard to wear on your sleeve, and even though I put them on paper, sometimes it's more for me than everyone else. When I started doing spoken word, I realized how powerful it was to get those emotions out. Many times they were recited with tears or anger or laughter....and after, a sigh of relief always came over me. Proud of myself for sharing ME with everyone. There was no act or facade or pretension....

I thank my 11th grade high school literature teacher, Mrs Kreft.... She instilled in me the importance of writing, and then sharing it with others. The peace that comes over you after you have shared. I never thought I would see her again....lol...it's funny how life works. After we bought this house....we were moving our things in. All of the neighbors were very kind, especially the lady next door. Her name is Rose, great lady. One day we got home and she was on her porch with her best friend. We got out of the car to say hello....and I realized, her vest friend was Mrs Kreft.....tears welled in my eyes, I had missed her so. She helped me through some tough times in high school....and is an amazing woman.

Secondly I thank Prof McKee...my college English Literature II professor. She helped me start to put my ideas on paper more often, and to start a book about me. She said for every person I know that didn't listen....there is 1000s who will....and so I have started writing more.

Well anyway let me get to the poems...just a few for now. If you want more, maybe later.
These are some of my faves, some are older though...enjoy.

A Taste Of Butter...The Show!

2009-05-31T11:21:00.002-04:00

I am going to be broadcasting my own show online.
It will give a little more of an insight to my personality and what I do on a daily basis. I will also tape little clips to show later. It won't just be sex acts...lots of preparing and behind the scenes things....as well as some parts of my personal life.
I think it will be fun and you can follow me or decide to get notifications of my show schedule.

I used to do it alot on Yahoo....but this way is a bit different. You can view my schedule as I said before...but it also includes sound, and you can interact with me by chatting or posting on Twitter....

I think it will be fun! The link is above for all interested in viewing me one day....

Save The Titties or Nipples! (men get breast cancer too!)

2009-05-31T11:07:00.003-04:00

I love to give to charity and things....just makes me feel good. Old clothes and shoes and books....canned goods and food to the shelter...I have also served food at shelters for holidays. I have learned that Karma isn't a bitch unless you mess with her the wrong way and I believe you get back what you give out totally. This is with everything in life, including human relations. I am not talking about saying yes to anyone just to say yes. Or being bullied or talked into giving just because. I am talking about giving only where it's needed....and doing it without that person expecting it...and even sometimes doing it anonymously...and doing it without expecting things back. It's an awesome feeling, truly.

I have lately noticed too much negativity , disrespect, and selfishness. It's kind of draining to the soul. Sorry to get philosophical, but it messes up my libido LOL. You would think that everyone has the common sense to treat people as they, themselves, want to be treated. I was wrong, very wrong. I have learned to go on with life and not expect everyone to be nice or respectful....but to be the better person and don't hold grudges for being who they are. If I don't agree with who they choose to be I don't have to be around them.

Let's forget all of the mediocre things that don't mean anything....treat each other with kindness....take someone out and get to know them...heck get nakey and screw! LOL

Contact me for information about the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer walk...or on how to donate. I will be doing the Walk and am taking donations for the society.
You can donate with GreenDot and PayPal...

~Take A Peek~

2009-05-31T11:05:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking alot about what I truly like in the bedroom...you know...kinks or fetishes I may have.
When most people think of fetishes they always think about the more extreme ones....but a fetish can actually be pretty mild. Everyone has their little things that turn them on...and I love exploring mine with someone worthy of sharing. Sorry to say, but I end up using alot of you guys for those reasons...hehehe.

One is my love for food...as funny as it sounds. Not talking about sex with the food...but eating makes me horny, and especially with good company. The tastes, smells, good conversation...it's like sharing time during an animalistic time of need, just like when you are having sex, LOL. My tummy also sometimes growls during sex....maybe this is connected? LOL

I also have a thing for feet, socks, shoes...ya know, any ankle and under action. Not sure where that came from, and I wasn't sure it was so strong until I started sucking toes, LOL. I check out everyone's feet, shoes, and socks. Don't feel bad, it's nothing personal and I'm not judging them. Just observing...
I have hundreds of shoes and socks. I love the printed socks and most of my shoes end up being heels that I can wear forever, especially Mary Janes...Yes! Nothing looks like a pair of knee socks or stockings and a pair of Mary Janes...Ooooo Sexy!

My 3rd favorite kink is voyeurism. I like to watch, but also like to BE watched. There is a bathhouse in Detroit perfect for this...I can go with my date, and we can peek in on everyone, and also play while others watch. It's kind of a passive thing...I like to find a private place and appear not to want to be watched...but when others peek wait to tell them to go away, LOL. I also love to play on webcam and flirt across rooms.

Kinks can be fun, what are your things that make you excited? I could discuss more...but now I'm excited, LOL! Going to go take care of that and hit the sack. Maybe I should throw on some knee socks and open my curtains so someone can peek...hehehe.

The Human Web & Our Shrinking World

2009-05-31T11:01:00.001-04:00

In 1929 Hungarian author Frigyes Karinthy published a volume of short stories titled "Everything is Different." Karinthy believed that the modern world was 'shrinking' due to an ever-increasing connectedness of human beings. It is from him that we get the idea of 6 Degrees of Separation.

The recent ability of society to connect is awesome to me. I have never known so many people from so many different places...who in turn visit so many other places. Every network I connect with has been different from the next...and with time even better ones are created.

This is my favorite connection to the world...writing a blog. It gives people an image of me without me having to be there at all. I also love to interact though...and I make sure I do on a daily basis most of the time. On any certain day I post my blog, IM on Yahoo, email, send tweets on Twitter, PM on different message boards, talk on the phone, and I could go on.
There seems to be no end to the awesome connections that get made online as I Spread Butter over the world, LOL. I love learning from all of the people and trying all of the new ideas that they give me.

I look forward to all of the new connections and reconnecting with ones I have met before....See you all soon!

Change Is Good....

2009-04-26T13:17:00.003-04:00

I feel myself changing a bit. I have found that I am much happier the more simple I live. I love to travel and just enjoy life and things now. I am actually thinking about changing my Network Systems Operator career so that I have more time to enjoy my daughter and life. I feel so free at this point and am enjoying life in general. I think alot of people are close minded to things that are here....open your eyes and write a list of positive things every day. It will make you pay more attention...

Clit Erection?

2009-04-26T13:15:00.001-04:00

Maybe I am weird...but I can get a clitoral erection, LOL. Any other girls get one?
I don't know what else to call it. Maybe just because I have a bigger clitoris it's more noticeable to me?
My first time coming up with a name for it I was standing in Houston airport. In the food court area I noticed an older Hispanic gentleman sitting at one of the tables. He had a very nice black cowboy hat on.
Something about him was just sexy and I felt my clit swell up LOL.

Now I have gotten excited before...but not to the point that I felt like I was walking funny. I went to the bathroom to check things out, LOL. When I jumped into the stall there it was! I got excited and rubbed it some...OMG...I am diddling in Bush Intercontinental, LOL....

Needless to say that wasn't the last time it happened...diddling my erection that is...hadn't done it in Houston Airport since...
If I do it on the plane does that qualify me for The Mile High Club???

A Bit About Butter...

2009-04-21T12:27:00.001-04:00

I will be adding a little about things I love....I'm really laid back and some may think boring....lol. But I love to travel and try new things. One of my favorite things to do is eat.....yes I am definitely an eater! Good company over a great meal is definitely one of my favorite things. I will make sure I add some of my favorite places to eat.

A few of my favorite places is Pittsburgh, Boston, Chicago, and New Mexico. Most of my criteria is great places to eat and interesting things to do. I'm very picky and need to stay interested. I am not one to get bored...not that I couldn't find something to do. I don't like things that are mediocre. I think if it's going to be good it should be great...and that has nothing to do with price half of the time.

Feel free to let me know some of your favorite places or things....maybe I will have a chance to try them out and tell you how I like them. Feel free to also tell me how you like the things I mention if you get the chance to try them also!

Cocos

Adventures Of Butter

If...

What Is "Human"?

Return Of The Butter...

She's Alive!

There Is Nothing Like A Mama-Hug...Terri Guillemets

Be Back Soon!

Through The Eyes Of Unseeing Eyes!

In The Lounge w/ Gentleman Player!

Let Me Introduce You...#Music Monday Twitter Friends!

Orientation on Sex

~Take Your Positions~

Happy Birthday To Me...Happy Birthday To Me...

Wandering Aimlessly...

Relationship Starved...

~Milk Does A Body Good~

In The Name Of Christ....

~Taking Care Of Yourself~

Reading Rainbow...

***Butter In Dreamland***

~Time Is Too Short~

Do A Good Job....

~Rub Me The Right Way~

~Drenched In Sweat~

Where Do You Go?

Connect The Dots (laaaa la)

I Think...Therefore I Am...

What Is Your Legacy?

I Touch Myself...

Feel The Breeze...

The Delightful Dick

~I See Beauty~

Dancing To A Different Beat...

Remember When...

~Hunger~

Stepping Back Into Reality~

***Climbing The Walls...*** (repost from April by request)

***Climbing the Walls...The Sequel***

Common Denominators

Pussy Power...!

From A Mother To Her Daughter...A Poem

From a Mother ( to her daughter)

Haiku & Short Poems...

The Imagination

Holy Matrimony (a haiku)

The Spoken Word

Words

I See Beauty

Words

A Taste Of Butter...The Show!

***Save The Titties*** or Nipples! (men get breast cancer too!)

~Take A Peek~

The Human Web & Our Shrinking World

Change Is Good....

Clit Erection?

A Bit About Butter...

Butter In Dreamland

Climbing The Walls... (repost from April by request)

Climbing the Walls...The Sequel

Save The Titties or Nipples! (men get breast cancer too!)